I went to gym this morning, worked out on the elliptical (cross-trainer) machine for a grand total of 5 minutes before my breathing got so bad that I got off and walked to the stretch area, fearing I was gonna pass out.
Lol oh god I've never been that unfit before.
I did 10 mins of yoga and we were standing against the wall doing some form of 'yoga' moves and I just couldnt get my breathing right and felt a little nauseous. So I called it a day and proceeded to walk home.
It was gently snowing outside yet it wasnt cold. Snow covered everything, yet it felt as if it was a comfortable 18- 20 degrees celcius outside. Coulda been that I was still warm from gym but I didnt wear gloves at all during the 20 minute walk and my hands never felt cold.
I came to the cemetary and entered the white, peaceful world inside. I could hear the traffic on the main road running beside the cemetary but it was if I was encapsulated in a beautiful, quiet snowglobe. Snow blanketed the gravestones, here and there flowers stood defiantley through the fluffy substance. As I walked, a feeling of peace and wonder enveloped me. Big snowflakes fell down in the air around me, some coming to rest on my newly colored dark red hair, on my eyelashes, on my cheeks. I watched them silently float down around me, studied their different patterns, musing on how beautiful and unique each snowflake was. Every now and then a snowflake would float onto my lower lip and melt in an instant, my tongue sliding out to taste it.
And I felt good because I was living out an adventure. I was doing something with my life and experiencing the big wide world. There were so many moments in my life where I thought I'd never get out of bed again, never leave the house. Days where I would walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, at the dark circles beneath my eyes, my sallow, puffy skin, my hair askew in every direction. Life, at those times, seeming to take more energy to live it then I could muster and I would think " I'm become such a mess, here I go again with pulling myself back together..." and I would feel as if I didnt have the energy to do it again....
But I always found the will from somewhere...pulled myself out of the big, black hole, dusted myself off and walked back to the party...
And here I am, living and working in North America, about to experience another of the things on my life ' To-Do' list; celebrating a white xmas like the white xmas's seen in movies. Where the characters drink eggnog, go ice-skating amidst beautiful xmas lights, fall on their ass on the snow,laughing.
The life 'To-Do' list is evergrowing and I don't think it will ever be completed but the fact that I'm checking stuff off on it feels great.
I wanna leave this plane knowing I did something kind cool, that my life was full and colorful and interesting.
Right now I'm thinking of hanging out with Tibetan monks for a while....wanna come along ?
Back to Toronto, this photo reminds me of ' The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'. The Narnia Chronicles were a childhood favourite of mine and I cant wait to see the movie. I walk past this lion on my walk home from work.
A sunflower in the cemetary, again the one I walk through on my walk home from work.
1 comment:
OHHH Gotta see pics of the hair.
The snowy graveyard walk sounded so peaceful and beautiful.
A lot of people never get to tick anything of their lists (like me lol) so you really are doing some great things.
Missing ya and can't wait to see ya.
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