S'more silly pics

Went to my aunty's 40th birthday last weekend. It was a 4 hour roadtrip one way ! Got a lil drunk on the way there , mum was driving so I kicked back , put some cool musak on and opened a can or two of bourbon.
Had s'more drinks at the party .....and felt like absolute shite the next day ....
So , after the 4 hour drive back , I came home on Sunday and did what any girly would do to try and feel human. had a shower , put comfy pj's on and facial-masked myself ( honey and oat if any girly is interested * chuckle* ).

Walaaaaa , behold the clown-faced one....

( Cue frightened screams ).







My honey is in London right now. He's been emailing me a lawtttt ( and I've been emailing HIM a lawwwwt ). He's going to the Tate Modern Museum and also to Stonehenge ( I am SO bloody envious of the Stonehenge visit !!! ).
I told him to take a hella lot of photos of Stonehenge ....or else he's gonna get his butt kicked , no excuses will be accepted
* Nods solemnly *.

I also want lottsa photos of the architecture of England. Not askin a lot am I lol.
I guess I'm just a nut when it comes to photography. I think of ALL the beautiful photos that could be had in England and put the pressure on my Canuckian babe to take em all in my absence lol....

On another note .... I still have absolutely NO idea about what I am gonna do regarding living arrangements. Will be paid up in rent until January 4th. A fellow classmate fron Spanish class has offered a room ( his housemate is moving out ). I'd have to meet his other housemate and all ... but theres one option at least....

I'm also still scared/nervous about my trip overseas. I am wondering if I am shooting myself in the foot by just taking off like I am planning to. I mean , heres why I am a lil scared.......

*I have refinanced my loan

* I will be applying for a work visa for Canada. If I get one , I dont really have much , qualification-wise. I have worked in the same job for 9 years but I dont have any certificates /formally recognised qualifications. So I still have to lob there in Canada and find a job that pays me enough to live off and pay my loan every week ( $ 70 a week on loan).

* After my time in Canada is up , I have to return to Aus with no money and no job.

Etc etc etc.
All these lil fearsome things are goin through my mind ... but I KNOW I have to go now. I cant put it off.
If I dont go now I may get stuck here somehow...

I'm just gonna have to go out on a limb , take a chance and dare.
I need to see Spain and Tuscany also , at the very least.
If I dare enough... maybe , maybe I will be able to write and photograph and make a new life for myself that way. Maybe , hopefully , I will become good enough to make a living off either or both.
All I know is .... if I stay here , in these circumstances , I will rot...
I only say that because of the job I am in.
I am a different person in this job , I am a zombiefied version of myself ... just another member of the rat race and I bloody hate that I am a shadow in this way.
Would never say that about anything else in my life .... because , for one thing , my family is so beautiful. As the days go by I am , increasingly , so grateful that I have such a beautiful , loving family.
My mum , my sisters , my nephews.....they are my heart....

Even though it might seem otherwise to them at times ( maybe ? ) ... I love them more then my own life. I guess I sometimes come across to them as maybe being self-absorbed and loner-esque.. I dunno ....
Constantly , I wish , that I could make their lives a little easier and give them more...

In this particular post I will highlight Nikki , my middle sister.....
Babe , I always feel as if I let you down in all ways. I was such a bitch to you growing up and I didnt cherish you like I should have. Just know that I do love you with all my heart and , if I had a magic ( fairy *wink* ) wand I would wave away all your worries and give you your prince and charmed life.
Unfortunately I cant , sweety , you're gonna have to wave your own wand to do that. But I have faith that you're strong enough to find your own way in life. You've given birth to two amazing lil boys and you've made your own way in this world.... so I know you have magic in you ;)....
Start believing in your own worth babe.

Lol writing about my little worries and fears has turned into a mush-fest for my family !
Ahhh thats what ya get from me.
Get used to it.