*Update: The below is a post I wrote back in early December last year. I had written it but decided to keep it as a draft only because Josh and I had our immigration interview coming up later that week and, as I had given them this blog site address as proof of a history of our relationship, I didn't want them reading that I had a potential health problem. Just in case it worked against our application...
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I had a dream last night...
What is unusual about that, eh? Everyone dreams, everynight.
Well, these days, it is highly unusual for me to remember my dreams.
So this dream...I was walking down the street after telling Josh I will meet back with him at a particular nominated spot (which I can't recall). I have my black knapsack slung on my shoulder, as it normally is.
A monk starts walking closely behind me. He is small in stature and wearing the robes monks wear. I realize too late that the zipper on my bag is open and the contents of my bag are on show, pocketed by the small unzipped section left.
The monk roughly burrows his grabbing hands in my bag, and grabs my purse and my camera. I distinctly have the feeling of "Noooo! My purse and camera contain my life, I CAN'T lose them!"
We struggle. It seems as though I am fighting a losing battle and feel sure I'm gonna lose both camera and purse. But finally, the monk lets go and scrambles off, leaving me standing with my things intact.
This dream struck me when I woke up and stayed with me throughout the day.
My new job, which I love, held a skin cancer screening session today for all employees. They flew a doctor in from Sydney, to spend all day checking our skin, one at a time.
I booked in as I have been meaning to get checked for awhile but, like most of us, don't get around to seeing a doctor. Also, there is this bruise-like thing under the toenail on my big toe, on my right foot. I noticed it about two weeks ago and paid attention to it as it had seemed to develop overnight. Josh mentioned that it might be just a bruise, that maybe I stubbed it or knocked it but I knew that hadn't happened. I looked at it and noticed it actually looked like a mole, an irregular one.
So, today, I was very interested in getting checked out and pointed out my toe to the doc. He grew VERY serious on inspecting it and actually put off other colleagues because he wanted to get me looked at by a Melbourne doctor, YESTERDAY. He started calling around and I overheard it telling doctor's receptionists "No, Wednesday next week is not soon enough. I need her to be seen today or tomorrow for a biopsy".
He is 90% sure it is a melanoma. He gave me his mobile number and asked me to promise that I will call him with the results. I have booked in to see someone next Wednesday.
I was so slammed busy at work today I didn't even have time to grab a glass of water and catch a breath. This kept me from letting his alarm and concern worry me to much. But now, here I sit at the computer and Google, researching melanoma and, in particular, melanoma under the toenail...and reading that it is the most lethal and aggressive form of skin cancer...I know I have faced almost dying a couple of times in my life but this has given me pause and a sudden reassessing of my life and what I have taken for granted.
Hey, it may just be in the early stages and will be treated successfully by surgery. But I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a little scared right now.
That dream I had last night is taking on a bit of meaning right now...?
