Ok the good news I was talkin about in the previous post ....
I got my Canadian Work Visa !!!!
* Much dancing around goofily *
Today I was pretty stressed out , it was another hot day and I was bothered ra ra ra....
Ya know when ya get so stressed out that you feel your stomach all knotted up and your insides feel like they're on fire ...? That's been me lately , especially today.By lunchtime I hadnt eaten all day and started getting stomach cramps so I forced a toasted sandwhich down.
About to knock off from my full time day job and go to the next job. Working tonight ....with a not-very-pleasant person ....
Its been a long day and I have to keep reminding myself to calm down , take deep breaths and keep focusing on the end of March and finally getting on that plane.
I need to spend more time with my family too , in the meantime , because I'm gonna miss them like crazy.
Rain has started to fall on this hot day and I just went outside and stood in it , letting the cool raindrops soothe me somewhat and tame that lil stressball of fire in my belly .... it felt niccccccccce.
This entry is a lil all over the place ...
Ah well .... some days I dont make sense at all ....
Friday, January 28, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Busy Girly Bee
Yeah , I've been neglecting my lil blog space in www-land lately.
I moved on the 11th of January and am now sleeping in my sisters living room ( oh joy non-personal space ! ).
Yes I now have to sleep in full pyjama's - top AND bottoms.
Which is a bit o'a pain in the royal butt because Melbourne's currently enjoying a heatwave.
Today , for example , is 35 degrees celcius and tomorrow is going to be 37 C ( 95 degrees Farenheit and 98 F , respectively , for you Americans out there ).
We have the Australian Open on in Melbourne at the mo and all I can say is tennis players are definately earning those bucks playing in this heat. If the rest of us is hot , take a moment to consider that centre court is a substantial amount of degrees hotter...
Speakin of tennis ......
Aussie , Aussie , Aussie , Oi , Oi , Oi !!!
Alicia Molik Eclipses Venus
Hewitt beats Nadal
My dad also landed himself back into hospital last week. Turns out the papa has been neglective of his medication.
He had collapsed in the backyard of his property in Queensland and was unresponsive for at least an hour.
An ambulance rushed him to the hospital and plenty of fuss and worry was made amongst family members.
His reply was to come to conciousness in ER and promptly ask for KFC.
Grrrr smacks have been reserved for daddio.
Other then all that , I havent had a lot of time for online venturing other then the occassional peek in The Photo Forum. I dont have the net set up at my sisters and I have been working two jobs.
Busy Busy Busy....
Oh and I have some good news but I really gotta run to the second job now so I'll report back tomorrow.
Ciao for now kiddies ! * waves *
I moved on the 11th of January and am now sleeping in my sisters living room ( oh joy non-personal space ! ).
Yes I now have to sleep in full pyjama's - top AND bottoms.
Which is a bit o'a pain in the royal butt because Melbourne's currently enjoying a heatwave.
Today , for example , is 35 degrees celcius and tomorrow is going to be 37 C ( 95 degrees Farenheit and 98 F , respectively , for you Americans out there ).
We have the Australian Open on in Melbourne at the mo and all I can say is tennis players are definately earning those bucks playing in this heat. If the rest of us is hot , take a moment to consider that centre court is a substantial amount of degrees hotter...
Speakin of tennis ......
Aussie , Aussie , Aussie , Oi , Oi , Oi !!!
Alicia Molik Eclipses Venus
Hewitt beats Nadal
My dad also landed himself back into hospital last week. Turns out the papa has been neglective of his medication.
He had collapsed in the backyard of his property in Queensland and was unresponsive for at least an hour.
An ambulance rushed him to the hospital and plenty of fuss and worry was made amongst family members.
His reply was to come to conciousness in ER and promptly ask for KFC.
Grrrr smacks have been reserved for daddio.
Other then all that , I havent had a lot of time for online venturing other then the occassional peek in The Photo Forum. I dont have the net set up at my sisters and I have been working two jobs.
Busy Busy Busy....
Oh and I have some good news but I really gotta run to the second job now so I'll report back tomorrow.
Ciao for now kiddies ! * waves *
Friday, January 07, 2005
Letters
Whilst packing the last of my belongings tonight , I came across a treasure trove piled in a basket.
Sat down and wandered down memory lane awhile.
Old photos of myself with friends , ex b/f's , some of my family , some of myself as a baby/young girl...
Birthday cards that I've kept ( yes I keep em all , they dont get chucked lol ).
Then letters.
Letters from my nan , my mum , Lisa...
I've just been sitting here reading all of them ...smiling and laughing at certain lines scrawled across the pages.
Then I started reading the last of the letters from nan and eventually some tears replaced the laughter.
I sat and thought about her and thought silently " I miss you so much nan ....".
Sometimes its almost as if I go through my days thinking she's still around , even though I know shes gone. Then I'm stopped suddenly and reminded of standing beside her open casket , my warm hand holding her cold hand , my fingers stroking her hand just like the way she used to do with mine when we held hands. Gazing at her for the longest time , thinking ...
" She looks so different , thats not my nana..."
Then I leant down in that noisy crowded funeral parlour room and kissed her softly on her forehead and whispered " Bye for now nana , love you...".
And a tear dripped down from my eye , landing on her cheek.
Appearing as though it was her own tear.
No goodbyes in this world can make your heart and deepest corners of your soul ache so badly like this kind of goodbye.
Heres a piece of writing she included in one of her letters...
' A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
and for the briefest moment the glory and the beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies off again and , though we wish it could have stayed...
we feel so lucky to have seen it ........'
That butterfly , my darling , beautiful nan , was you.
I love you.
I wrote a 'letter' to her a few years ago here
Sat down and wandered down memory lane awhile.
Old photos of myself with friends , ex b/f's , some of my family , some of myself as a baby/young girl...
Birthday cards that I've kept ( yes I keep em all , they dont get chucked lol ).
Then letters.
Letters from my nan , my mum , Lisa...
I've just been sitting here reading all of them ...smiling and laughing at certain lines scrawled across the pages.
Then I started reading the last of the letters from nan and eventually some tears replaced the laughter.
I sat and thought about her and thought silently " I miss you so much nan ....".
Sometimes its almost as if I go through my days thinking she's still around , even though I know shes gone. Then I'm stopped suddenly and reminded of standing beside her open casket , my warm hand holding her cold hand , my fingers stroking her hand just like the way she used to do with mine when we held hands. Gazing at her for the longest time , thinking ...
" She looks so different , thats not my nana..."
Then I leant down in that noisy crowded funeral parlour room and kissed her softly on her forehead and whispered " Bye for now nana , love you...".
And a tear dripped down from my eye , landing on her cheek.
Appearing as though it was her own tear.
No goodbyes in this world can make your heart and deepest corners of your soul ache so badly like this kind of goodbye.
Heres a piece of writing she included in one of her letters...
' A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
and for the briefest moment the glory and the beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies off again and , though we wish it could have stayed...
we feel so lucky to have seen it ........'
That butterfly , my darling , beautiful nan , was you.
I love you.
I wrote a 'letter' to her a few years ago here
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Trinkets In Boxes
Mum and Mal ( the M&M's ) phoned me at work before lunch , announcing they would be at my place in a few hours , with a trailor , to grab all my larger bits of furniture.
My head was filled with stress already so I was like " Arghhh , I havent got things really ready " !
They tried callin me last night but couldnt reach me and today was really the only day they could come down to do this.
I was grateful I have them to help me though.
I locked up the office during my lunchbreak and ran across the road to my place to organise what stuff was going with them today. Carted things downstairs.
Went back to work afterwards and tried to get in touch with Grace , the real estate agent , only to find shes away on leave. Spoke to an Emmanuel instead and worked out remaining rent to be paid ( for this week ) and getting my bond back etc.
Then paid a shitload of bills , dipping into travel funds to do it.
That was fun lol.
Came home after work and really got stuck into packing away all the little trinkets and belongings I have accumulated over the years.
Beauty products that sit on a shelf , ignored. Books I have read once and stuck in a bookcase. Salt Water Taffey from Ocean City Maryland. Stattuettes given on Xmas's past.
You get my drift.
Tryin to decide what to sell at a garage sale , what to send ahead of me to Toronto.What to give to my mum and sisters....
I'll look at something and think " I want to take that with me to Toronto " then I'll force myself to pack it in the 'Not coming with me ' box.
Even stuff that isnt of sentimental value , like a box of never-used Mikasa wine glasses or the like , I would take with me for my apartment in Toronto if it wasnt so expensive to ship over there.
Have a stackload of junk destined for the tip too.
Every time the mail arrives at work I hope that one of those letters is a letter saying I've gotten the work visa.
Gettin a second job to save the money I realllllly realllllly need to save for the trip is one of the 'stress' issues. The second is getting that visa.
Then theres campin out in my sisters living room for the next 9 or so weeks , the longer commute to work and the getting home at midnight and gettin up at 5 am every morning ( if I'm lucky to score a second job )....
And I'll stop now before I really turn this into a 'pity party ' and start gettin stressed up over it all again , like I was earlier today...
It was just one of those days where I'm lettin everything crowd on top of me. In the grand scheme of things these things are tiny. I'm sure there are many ppl who would swap their greater troubles with my tiny , minute ones in a nanosecond.
My head was filled with stress already so I was like " Arghhh , I havent got things really ready " !
They tried callin me last night but couldnt reach me and today was really the only day they could come down to do this.
I was grateful I have them to help me though.
I locked up the office during my lunchbreak and ran across the road to my place to organise what stuff was going with them today. Carted things downstairs.
Went back to work afterwards and tried to get in touch with Grace , the real estate agent , only to find shes away on leave. Spoke to an Emmanuel instead and worked out remaining rent to be paid ( for this week ) and getting my bond back etc.
Then paid a shitload of bills , dipping into travel funds to do it.
That was fun lol.
Came home after work and really got stuck into packing away all the little trinkets and belongings I have accumulated over the years.
Beauty products that sit on a shelf , ignored. Books I have read once and stuck in a bookcase. Salt Water Taffey from Ocean City Maryland. Stattuettes given on Xmas's past.
You get my drift.
Tryin to decide what to sell at a garage sale , what to send ahead of me to Toronto.What to give to my mum and sisters....
I'll look at something and think " I want to take that with me to Toronto " then I'll force myself to pack it in the 'Not coming with me ' box.
Even stuff that isnt of sentimental value , like a box of never-used Mikasa wine glasses or the like , I would take with me for my apartment in Toronto if it wasnt so expensive to ship over there.
Have a stackload of junk destined for the tip too.
Every time the mail arrives at work I hope that one of those letters is a letter saying I've gotten the work visa.
Gettin a second job to save the money I realllllly realllllly need to save for the trip is one of the 'stress' issues. The second is getting that visa.
Then theres campin out in my sisters living room for the next 9 or so weeks , the longer commute to work and the getting home at midnight and gettin up at 5 am every morning ( if I'm lucky to score a second job )....
And I'll stop now before I really turn this into a 'pity party ' and start gettin stressed up over it all again , like I was earlier today...
It was just one of those days where I'm lettin everything crowd on top of me. In the grand scheme of things these things are tiny. I'm sure there are many ppl who would swap their greater troubles with my tiny , minute ones in a nanosecond.
Time
Warped day , felt both down and stressed inside.
Bad case of Mondayitus on a Tuesday.
Can so relate to these lyrics sometimes.
'Time '- Pink Floyd
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine , staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun.
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.
Yeah thats how I feel some days .....
Bad case of Mondayitus on a Tuesday.
Can so relate to these lyrics sometimes.
'Time '- Pink Floyd
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.
Tired of lying in the sunshine , staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun.
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.
Yeah thats how I feel some days .....
Monday, January 03, 2005
I Know....
... this will freak my babe out .....
Looks like I'ma be a busy girly this year ....
Its a New Years Resolution random generator. Go see what ya get.
In the year 2005 I resolve to: |
Looks like I'ma be a busy girly this year ....
Its a New Years Resolution random generator. Go see what ya get.
Fun At The Supermarket.
Song Playing : ' Unfinished Sympathy ' - Massive Attack
A slightly scary incident , healthwise , occurred about two hours ago.
I posted this on TPF, so I'll just copy and paste from that.
I almost passed out at the bloody supermarket !!
I got back home grateful that I managed the walk back.
I was standin flickin through magazines when I started to feel lightheaded and began to have trouble breathing.
So I joined the checkout queue ( behind a guy who had a packed trolley load of groceries ) and it just got worse.
I put my bag down and gripped the ledge and concentrated on breathing but every breath I took just felt hopeless : felt like the oxygen just wasnt reaching my lungs.
All it seemed to do was enter my mouth before blowing back out instaneously.
All accompanied with a 'nice' cold sweat , as a garnish.
My vision started blurring and the room started spinning increasingly faster and I silently willed/pleaded that the checkout chick hurry with the guy in front of me because I was struggling hard to hold onto consiousness and felt like I was gonna lose it any second.
Finally she got to me , as I continued to grip the counter to stop from swaying.
She musta thought " Geeze , another druggie " LOL !
Somehow , miraculously , I didnt pass out and made it outside into the fresh air , where I sat on the curb beside the road and put my head between my knees.
After about half an hour two very nice ppl stopped , out of concern , and asked me if I wanted water etc ...but by that time I was feelin better.
Blame myself for the incident though.
Reason being , I gave up smokin almost two years ago and basically lead a healthy lifestyle ; dont smoke , healthy diet , dont drink a lot of alcohol and I was working out regularly.
Alas in the last two weeks , over Xmas/New Years , I have been smokin and drinkin , and not keeping my fitness routine up at all.
When J was here I pinched a few ciggarettes , here and there , from him thinkin
" I'll be right , its only a couple , I wont take it up again ".
Uh no .... silly me went and bought a couple of packets over the holidays. And I only have myself to blame for that.
I had already resolved to go back to no-smokin tomorrow so this happening today has made this resolve stronger....
My body served me a nice little reminder eh ...eek !
My lungs are definately hurting already , so I feel the difference , physically , between the states of smoking vs no smoking.
One of the members from TPF , after voicing his concern , joked that he wouldnt have bothered going to the check-out. That he would rather pass out and cause a scene lol.
My reply : Passing out woulda been embarrassing LOL !
" Oh there goes the girl who passes out in supermarkets. The least she can do is pass out somewhere classier ! Such a commoner "
!
A slightly scary incident , healthwise , occurred about two hours ago.
I posted this on TPF, so I'll just copy and paste from that.
I almost passed out at the bloody supermarket !!
I got back home grateful that I managed the walk back.
I was standin flickin through magazines when I started to feel lightheaded and began to have trouble breathing.
So I joined the checkout queue ( behind a guy who had a packed trolley load of groceries ) and it just got worse.
I put my bag down and gripped the ledge and concentrated on breathing but every breath I took just felt hopeless : felt like the oxygen just wasnt reaching my lungs.
All it seemed to do was enter my mouth before blowing back out instaneously.
All accompanied with a 'nice' cold sweat , as a garnish.
My vision started blurring and the room started spinning increasingly faster and I silently willed/pleaded that the checkout chick hurry with the guy in front of me because I was struggling hard to hold onto consiousness and felt like I was gonna lose it any second.
Finally she got to me , as I continued to grip the counter to stop from swaying.
She musta thought " Geeze , another druggie " LOL !
Somehow , miraculously , I didnt pass out and made it outside into the fresh air , where I sat on the curb beside the road and put my head between my knees.
After about half an hour two very nice ppl stopped , out of concern , and asked me if I wanted water etc ...but by that time I was feelin better.
Blame myself for the incident though.
Reason being , I gave up smokin almost two years ago and basically lead a healthy lifestyle ; dont smoke , healthy diet , dont drink a lot of alcohol and I was working out regularly.
Alas in the last two weeks , over Xmas/New Years , I have been smokin and drinkin , and not keeping my fitness routine up at all.
When J was here I pinched a few ciggarettes , here and there , from him thinkin
" I'll be right , its only a couple , I wont take it up again ".
Uh no .... silly me went and bought a couple of packets over the holidays. And I only have myself to blame for that.
I had already resolved to go back to no-smokin tomorrow so this happening today has made this resolve stronger....
My body served me a nice little reminder eh ...eek !
My lungs are definately hurting already , so I feel the difference , physically , between the states of smoking vs no smoking.
One of the members from TPF , after voicing his concern , joked that he wouldnt have bothered going to the check-out. That he would rather pass out and cause a scene lol.
My reply : Passing out woulda been embarrassing LOL !
" Oh there goes the girl who passes out in supermarkets. The least she can do is pass out somewhere classier ! Such a commoner "
!
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Another Year Passes...
.... into the slowly fading realm of yesteryears.
HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRR !!!
2005 has a wonderful ring to it :)
Hope ya all had a great night , whatever you ended up doin.
May you all be happy and safe.
HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRR !!!
2005 has a wonderful ring to it :)
Hope ya all had a great night , whatever you ended up doin.
May you all be happy and safe.
Great Ocean Road.
Just got some photos online from J's and my trip down the Great Ocean Road whilst he was here in Australia.
The J-Man
My friend Scott slippin his girlfriend Melissa the sly tongue lol.
Get a room !
Scott & Mel again.
We visited a berry farm in Timboon and went a-berry-pickin. For every berry I picked , I ate another one heh.
One for the baskettttt , one for my mouthhhhh mmmmm.
J again.
Our Berry Loot !
The J-Man
My friend Scott slippin his girlfriend Melissa the sly tongue lol.
Get a room !
Scott & Mel again.
We visited a berry farm in Timboon and went a-berry-pickin. For every berry I picked , I ate another one heh.
One for the baskettttt , one for my mouthhhhh mmmmm.
J again.
Our Berry Loot !
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