Came across this article in the Herald-Sun newspaper last Sunday...its the only day of the week that I ever bother to open a newspaper.
Sunday , November 28 2004
' Two dolphins thought to have defended a group of swimmers from a shark attack have been slaughtered by fishermen.
The carcasses were found in the waters off New Zealand where , days earlier , a school of dolphins had warded off a great white shark stalking a man , his daughter and two of her friends.
The dolphin are thought to have been caught up in nets left by fishermen fishing illegally in Whangarei Harbour , on the North Islands east coast.
When the two fishermen returned to find their nets damaged they are believed to have killed the dolphins in a rage , hacking off their tails.
Wildlife officers said it was "almost certain " they were the heroic dolphins because they were found in the same area the pod has been seen daily for months.
"This is how we repay these beautiful creatures for their help " said lifeguard Rob Howes , who believes he and the three girls would have been attacked by the shrk if not for the dolphins.
"We owe our lives to these lovely mammals" he said.
"This is nothing less then indiscriminate murder. I am absolutely sickened."
Parts of New Zealand are off limits to fishermen using nets because dolphins are known to swim in the areas , but some are ready to risk a fine because those same waters are rich with fish.'
- Sunday Herald-Sun.
Pure rotten ugliness senselessly murders pure beauty ; a recurring theme that never fails to render me absolutely speechless with anger & sadness.....but , at the same time , strengthens a resolve to do something to protect our beautiful creatures from barbaric bastards....
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Landlady
My landlady has just left the office where I work ( I work right across the road from my home and she lives two doors down from me ).
I've already been told by Grace ( my contact at the real estate office ) that the new owners rang and asked her if I could get out of the place early etc...
I dunno , maybe its because my emotions are tied in with this but I found that kinda rude.
Like " Hey , 'girl-that-only-rents-the-place' , I bought your home and I want it now so can ya make like ya were never there & quickly fuck off out of it so I can be cosy and comfy in it..? "
Now Josie , the landlady , just stood in front of my desk and made out like I'm a bitch because I replied to her " When are you leaving ?" question with an "I am leaving the place on the 11th January ...."
( which is the date the legal ' 60 days to vacate 'notice ends on ).
The new owners didnt have any success with the real estate agent , Grace , so one of them , some woman , thought she'd ring Josie to compel her to walk into my workplace , cry some tears and put the pressure on me in person....and they both obviously assume that I will cave this way.
Situation is that I most likely will be sleepin on my sisters couch for the two month limbo period between January 11th and when I leave for overseas , as I obviously cant go signing any rental lease for a place of my own for only two months. Also its the cheapest option.
Josie flashed an 'angry' look before turning it into moaning and forcing the tears out in a " I'm so stressed out " manner.
Normally I would be sympathetic but I just had enough of this whole situation thats been going on this year past.
She let a person move into this place even when she knew she was gonna put it on the market a few months later.
Simply just thought of the $$$ she can squeeze out of a potential , unsuspecting tenant for as long as she could , sell the place ..then unceremoniously kick them out.
Then she took advantage of the fact that I live across the road and am a 'nice girl ' and flouted legalities ( such as the one about giving a tenant at least 24 hours notice in writing if wanting access to house to let people through etc.) Apparently this didnt apply to her , she would simply walk across the road whilst I was at work and ask to be given to key to let someone through an hour later.
So I firmly told her that , no , I will not be leaving early , I will be using my allotted legal time left there. That I have put up with having my , so-called , home walked through like a gallery all year and been MORE then obliging and nice about it.
Even though I bloody hated it.
When Josie was going through some emotional times in her personal life she has spoken to me about them and I have given her an ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Only thing I ask of her in return is a LITTLE respect and patience would be nice is all ......
Not this current " You are a non-entity..." attitude.
Told her that I didnt appreciate the new buyers and her putting the pressure on long BEFORE my time was up there...
She flashed the angry look again and put a finger up and said in a slightly threatening tone " OK then , you move out on the 11th ... but you are NOT to be there a SECOND more !!! ".
Well I never , at any point , implied that I would stay longer then the 11th.....
It's unfair of either of them to make me feel like I am a bitch for not making myself and my belongings disappear as soon as they snap their fingers....
But thats some people for ya ....if ya dont have the bucks , they dont give a fuck ....
She remarked , as she was walkin out of the office , something about how hard this situation is for her and the new buyer because " the poor woman wants to move in ".
Ok Josie lets look at this situation.
You now have a fatter bank account to the tune of $ 580, 000. Plus you own two other houses that are worth the same amount each.
This other woman now owns this wonderful , happy-vibe , place , smack-bang in the middle of every possible thing one could desire to be near to in this city ....which she'll probably renovate the shite out of and she gets to savour the feeling of knowing no one can take this place from her.
You poor , poor darlings.
Life is so terribly hard for you both , I wonder how you cope.
It sorta felt good to get some of my thoughts off my chest to her , because I have been nothing but accommodating , smiley and nice to her about the whole fucked up situation this year.
I think she was expecting me to be the normal " Yes Josie , thats ok ... no worries Josie , I'll leave pronto ...! " nice Tina ....but she got the assertive , firm , fed-up , oh cry-me-a-river Tina.
Surprissssssse ! Lol.
[/end vent]
I've already been told by Grace ( my contact at the real estate office ) that the new owners rang and asked her if I could get out of the place early etc...
I dunno , maybe its because my emotions are tied in with this but I found that kinda rude.
Like " Hey , 'girl-that-only-rents-the-place' , I bought your home and I want it now so can ya make like ya were never there & quickly fuck off out of it so I can be cosy and comfy in it..? "
Now Josie , the landlady , just stood in front of my desk and made out like I'm a bitch because I replied to her " When are you leaving ?" question with an "I am leaving the place on the 11th January ...."
( which is the date the legal ' 60 days to vacate 'notice ends on ).
The new owners didnt have any success with the real estate agent , Grace , so one of them , some woman , thought she'd ring Josie to compel her to walk into my workplace , cry some tears and put the pressure on me in person....and they both obviously assume that I will cave this way.
Situation is that I most likely will be sleepin on my sisters couch for the two month limbo period between January 11th and when I leave for overseas , as I obviously cant go signing any rental lease for a place of my own for only two months. Also its the cheapest option.
Josie flashed an 'angry' look before turning it into moaning and forcing the tears out in a " I'm so stressed out " manner.
Normally I would be sympathetic but I just had enough of this whole situation thats been going on this year past.
She let a person move into this place even when she knew she was gonna put it on the market a few months later.
Simply just thought of the $$$ she can squeeze out of a potential , unsuspecting tenant for as long as she could , sell the place ..then unceremoniously kick them out.
Then she took advantage of the fact that I live across the road and am a 'nice girl ' and flouted legalities ( such as the one about giving a tenant at least 24 hours notice in writing if wanting access to house to let people through etc.) Apparently this didnt apply to her , she would simply walk across the road whilst I was at work and ask to be given to key to let someone through an hour later.
So I firmly told her that , no , I will not be leaving early , I will be using my allotted legal time left there. That I have put up with having my , so-called , home walked through like a gallery all year and been MORE then obliging and nice about it.
Even though I bloody hated it.
When Josie was going through some emotional times in her personal life she has spoken to me about them and I have given her an ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Only thing I ask of her in return is a LITTLE respect and patience would be nice is all ......
Not this current " You are a non-entity..." attitude.
Told her that I didnt appreciate the new buyers and her putting the pressure on long BEFORE my time was up there...
She flashed the angry look again and put a finger up and said in a slightly threatening tone " OK then , you move out on the 11th ... but you are NOT to be there a SECOND more !!! ".
Well I never , at any point , implied that I would stay longer then the 11th.....
It's unfair of either of them to make me feel like I am a bitch for not making myself and my belongings disappear as soon as they snap their fingers....
But thats some people for ya ....if ya dont have the bucks , they dont give a fuck ....
She remarked , as she was walkin out of the office , something about how hard this situation is for her and the new buyer because " the poor woman wants to move in ".
Ok Josie lets look at this situation.
You now have a fatter bank account to the tune of $ 580, 000. Plus you own two other houses that are worth the same amount each.
This other woman now owns this wonderful , happy-vibe , place , smack-bang in the middle of every possible thing one could desire to be near to in this city ....which she'll probably renovate the shite out of and she gets to savour the feeling of knowing no one can take this place from her.
You poor , poor darlings.
Life is so terribly hard for you both , I wonder how you cope.
It sorta felt good to get some of my thoughts off my chest to her , because I have been nothing but accommodating , smiley and nice to her about the whole fucked up situation this year.
I think she was expecting me to be the normal " Yes Josie , thats ok ... no worries Josie , I'll leave pronto ...! " nice Tina ....but she got the assertive , firm , fed-up , oh cry-me-a-river Tina.
Surprissssssse ! Lol.
[/end vent]
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Saturday Night Philosophy
Fragmented Me today ( not off on some psych -trip , relax lol ... just felt like takin a partial , freaky , cam-shot .... )
Wrote this in my journal tonight....
Yes , the one that involves pen & paper *wink*.....
I sit on my courtyard , resting high above the neigbourhood, writing this by candlelight.
Its a warm , late November night.
A full moon hovers amongst the clouds in this warm balmy night.
Since I started writing this entry , my flame from my New Orleans Peace candle has been extinguished twice by the soft , yet determined , breeze.
I walked out onto my courtyard after watching the movie ' The Forgotten', with my sister , Kristy. I sighted the magical white full moon and walked straight back in ( probably , predictably ...)
to fetch my tripod and camera.
Its loaded with Kodak Tri-X B&W film .... but thats fine....
In fact , come to think of it , its more then fine ... grainy B&W is just what is needed tonight , for this picture ( if the photos turn out ).
I cant stop feeling sad about having to leave my poetic lil sanctuary , that looks over this city.
When I glimpsed the new Chanel # 5 ad ( featuring Nicole Kidman ) well , the writers home ( meant to be his little haven overlooking NY City ) reminded me , distinctly , of myself and my home..
I found my soul again , in this place.
Not that I had ever really lost it...
I had started to touch it again though , in New Orleans & after I first returned home.
All those times I raced to Saint Pauls Cathedral , after work had ended for the day , and sat in the wooden pews and gazed at the beautiful leadlight windows perched high in this huge , magnificant , gothic cathedral, listening to lilting sounds of the boys springtime choir voices .....being filled up with something that , obviously , nourished and comforted me there. Thats when I started on the path to coming back to something worthwhile....
I guess I had the 'after travel blues' at the time .... St Pauls Cathedral , the leadlights , the angelic singing , became my solace for that time afterwards....
No , I am not in the least bit 'religious' .....
Spiritual yes , formally religious , no....
And in this place I call home now , I felt like I had started to come back to myself too.
Bear with me for going on about the sadness of losing my small sanctuary.
It is silly , I know this much. This space in the world is merely a tool to re-find something important. I was leaving this place in March anyway.
I guess I would have preferred to leave this place on my own terms , is all.....
Because it involved a personal , inner journey that had been sorely missed for a while.
I can hear someones music emitting over the neighbourhood below. This neighbourhood thrives with humanity and its many different beautiful colors. .... and I love it all.
The candlelight keeps on flickering , despite the wind almost blowing it out several times since I lit it for that third time. I am cupping it against the wind with my left hand , as I write with my right.There is a plane that is flying overhead on the horizon and sirens in the distance. I hear peoples voices rising above all the inhuman noises .... an occassional 'whoooop' here & there....
I am so in love with life right now.
Much more then I've ever been , I'm pretty sure of that.
In love with all the colors , the sensations , the smells , the skies , the light , the darkness , music ....
........animals........
........people ........
........my friends.....
........my family .....
More then anything , my family ....
And I find that I've been opened up in such a way that ....
( candlelight went out again , silly wind blew it out lol .... )
in such a way that I cry a lot these days....Things that touch me deep down in a mysterious place that wasnt available before ....
Now it's vulnerable.....
I love feeling this way ....
Open me up , make me feel .... I never wanna be numb again.
I wanna feel someone elses tears ...so what if its saddening ...
At least its real.
I've turned off the tv... because that numbs me ....
I dont read the newspapers anymore ... because they have the same effect.
I dont wanna be fed a virtual , fake , life by proxy anymore.
I want it first-hand.
Hence , I'm takin this show on the road , kiddies.
Throwin the towel into the ' security ring ' ..... as much as I crave 'security' , I know I have to up and see the heart of this world. I aint in this world to be 'secure'.
* Looks up at moon again *.
So , as much as I dont wanna give up this place , I have to let it go and move on to the next chapter.
Our biggest struggle is when we go against the grain of mother nature/life , instead of accepting and moving with it.
Why were we made like this ?
*Philosophical Saturday Night discussion over .......*
Maybe I should get out more....*Wink*
Mental Note : Must buy little portable tape recorder to record little inspirations ..... ( most good thoughts emerge when I'm furthest away from pen and paper .... )
Boo ..... Me today .... fascinattttttting eh ?
Wrote this in my journal tonight....
Yes , the one that involves pen & paper *wink*.....
I sit on my courtyard , resting high above the neigbourhood, writing this by candlelight.
Its a warm , late November night.
A full moon hovers amongst the clouds in this warm balmy night.
Since I started writing this entry , my flame from my New Orleans Peace candle has been extinguished twice by the soft , yet determined , breeze.
I walked out onto my courtyard after watching the movie ' The Forgotten', with my sister , Kristy. I sighted the magical white full moon and walked straight back in ( probably , predictably ...)
to fetch my tripod and camera.
Its loaded with Kodak Tri-X B&W film .... but thats fine....
In fact , come to think of it , its more then fine ... grainy B&W is just what is needed tonight , for this picture ( if the photos turn out ).
I cant stop feeling sad about having to leave my poetic lil sanctuary , that looks over this city.
When I glimpsed the new Chanel # 5 ad ( featuring Nicole Kidman ) well , the writers home ( meant to be his little haven overlooking NY City ) reminded me , distinctly , of myself and my home..
I found my soul again , in this place.
Not that I had ever really lost it...
I had started to touch it again though , in New Orleans & after I first returned home.
All those times I raced to Saint Pauls Cathedral , after work had ended for the day , and sat in the wooden pews and gazed at the beautiful leadlight windows perched high in this huge , magnificant , gothic cathedral, listening to lilting sounds of the boys springtime choir voices .....being filled up with something that , obviously , nourished and comforted me there. Thats when I started on the path to coming back to something worthwhile....
I guess I had the 'after travel blues' at the time .... St Pauls Cathedral , the leadlights , the angelic singing , became my solace for that time afterwards....
No , I am not in the least bit 'religious' .....
Spiritual yes , formally religious , no....
And in this place I call home now , I felt like I had started to come back to myself too.
Bear with me for going on about the sadness of losing my small sanctuary.
It is silly , I know this much. This space in the world is merely a tool to re-find something important. I was leaving this place in March anyway.
I guess I would have preferred to leave this place on my own terms , is all.....
Because it involved a personal , inner journey that had been sorely missed for a while.
I can hear someones music emitting over the neighbourhood below. This neighbourhood thrives with humanity and its many different beautiful colors. .... and I love it all.
The candlelight keeps on flickering , despite the wind almost blowing it out several times since I lit it for that third time. I am cupping it against the wind with my left hand , as I write with my right.There is a plane that is flying overhead on the horizon and sirens in the distance. I hear peoples voices rising above all the inhuman noises .... an occassional 'whoooop' here & there....
I am so in love with life right now.
Much more then I've ever been , I'm pretty sure of that.
In love with all the colors , the sensations , the smells , the skies , the light , the darkness , music ....
........animals........
........people ........
........my friends.....
........my family .....
More then anything , my family ....
And I find that I've been opened up in such a way that ....
( candlelight went out again , silly wind blew it out lol .... )
in such a way that I cry a lot these days....Things that touch me deep down in a mysterious place that wasnt available before ....
Now it's vulnerable.....
I love feeling this way ....
Open me up , make me feel .... I never wanna be numb again.
I wanna feel someone elses tears ...so what if its saddening ...
At least its real.
I've turned off the tv... because that numbs me ....
I dont read the newspapers anymore ... because they have the same effect.
I dont wanna be fed a virtual , fake , life by proxy anymore.
I want it first-hand.
Hence , I'm takin this show on the road , kiddies.
Throwin the towel into the ' security ring ' ..... as much as I crave 'security' , I know I have to up and see the heart of this world. I aint in this world to be 'secure'.
* Looks up at moon again *.
So , as much as I dont wanna give up this place , I have to let it go and move on to the next chapter.
Our biggest struggle is when we go against the grain of mother nature/life , instead of accepting and moving with it.
Why were we made like this ?
*Philosophical Saturday Night discussion over .......*
Maybe I should get out more....*Wink*
Mental Note : Must buy little portable tape recorder to record little inspirations ..... ( most good thoughts emerge when I'm furthest away from pen and paper .... )
Boo ..... Me today .... fascinattttttting eh ?
Thursday, November 25, 2004
S'more silly pics
Went to my aunty's 40th birthday last weekend. It was a 4 hour roadtrip one way ! Got a lil drunk on the way there , mum was driving so I kicked back , put some cool musak on and opened a can or two of bourbon.
Had s'more drinks at the party .....and felt like absolute shite the next day ....
So , after the 4 hour drive back , I came home on Sunday and did what any girly would do to try and feel human. had a shower , put comfy pj's on and facial-masked myself ( honey and oat if any girly is interested * chuckle* ).
Walaaaaa , behold the clown-faced one....
( Cue frightened screams ).
My honey is in London right now. He's been emailing me a lawtttt ( and I've been emailing HIM a lawwwwt ). He's going to the Tate Modern Museum and also to Stonehenge ( I am SO bloody envious of the Stonehenge visit !!! ).
I told him to take a hella lot of photos of Stonehenge ....or else he's gonna get his butt kicked , no excuses will be accepted
* Nods solemnly *.
I also want lottsa photos of the architecture of England. Not askin a lot am I lol.
I guess I'm just a nut when it comes to photography. I think of ALL the beautiful photos that could be had in England and put the pressure on my Canuckian babe to take em all in my absence lol....
On another note .... I still have absolutely NO idea about what I am gonna do regarding living arrangements. Will be paid up in rent until January 4th. A fellow classmate fron Spanish class has offered a room ( his housemate is moving out ). I'd have to meet his other housemate and all ... but theres one option at least....
I'm also still scared/nervous about my trip overseas. I am wondering if I am shooting myself in the foot by just taking off like I am planning to. I mean , heres why I am a lil scared.......
*I have refinanced my loan
* I will be applying for a work visa for Canada. If I get one , I dont really have much , qualification-wise. I have worked in the same job for 9 years but I dont have any certificates /formally recognised qualifications. So I still have to lob there in Canada and find a job that pays me enough to live off and pay my loan every week ( $ 70 a week on loan).
* After my time in Canada is up , I have to return to Aus with no money and no job.
Etc etc etc.
All these lil fearsome things are goin through my mind ... but I KNOW I have to go now. I cant put it off.
If I dont go now I may get stuck here somehow...
I'm just gonna have to go out on a limb , take a chance and dare.
I need to see Spain and Tuscany also , at the very least.
If I dare enough... maybe , maybe I will be able to write and photograph and make a new life for myself that way. Maybe , hopefully , I will become good enough to make a living off either or both.
All I know is .... if I stay here , in these circumstances , I will rot...
I only say that because of the job I am in.
I am a different person in this job , I am a zombiefied version of myself ... just another member of the rat race and I bloody hate that I am a shadow in this way.
Would never say that about anything else in my life .... because , for one thing , my family is so beautiful. As the days go by I am , increasingly , so grateful that I have such a beautiful , loving family.
My mum , my sisters , my nephews.....they are my heart....
Even though it might seem otherwise to them at times ( maybe ? ) ... I love them more then my own life. I guess I sometimes come across to them as maybe being self-absorbed and loner-esque.. I dunno ....
Constantly , I wish , that I could make their lives a little easier and give them more...
In this particular post I will highlight Nikki , my middle sister.....
Babe , I always feel as if I let you down in all ways. I was such a bitch to you growing up and I didnt cherish you like I should have. Just know that I do love you with all my heart and , if I had a magic ( fairy *wink* ) wand I would wave away all your worries and give you your prince and charmed life.
Unfortunately I cant , sweety , you're gonna have to wave your own wand to do that. But I have faith that you're strong enough to find your own way in life. You've given birth to two amazing lil boys and you've made your own way in this world.... so I know you have magic in you ;)....
Start believing in your own worth babe.
Lol writing about my little worries and fears has turned into a mush-fest for my family !
Ahhh thats what ya get from me.
Get used to it.
Had s'more drinks at the party .....and felt like absolute shite the next day ....
So , after the 4 hour drive back , I came home on Sunday and did what any girly would do to try and feel human. had a shower , put comfy pj's on and facial-masked myself ( honey and oat if any girly is interested * chuckle* ).
Walaaaaa , behold the clown-faced one....
( Cue frightened screams ).
My honey is in London right now. He's been emailing me a lawtttt ( and I've been emailing HIM a lawwwwt ). He's going to the Tate Modern Museum and also to Stonehenge ( I am SO bloody envious of the Stonehenge visit !!! ).
I told him to take a hella lot of photos of Stonehenge ....or else he's gonna get his butt kicked , no excuses will be accepted
* Nods solemnly *.
I also want lottsa photos of the architecture of England. Not askin a lot am I lol.
I guess I'm just a nut when it comes to photography. I think of ALL the beautiful photos that could be had in England and put the pressure on my Canuckian babe to take em all in my absence lol....
On another note .... I still have absolutely NO idea about what I am gonna do regarding living arrangements. Will be paid up in rent until January 4th. A fellow classmate fron Spanish class has offered a room ( his housemate is moving out ). I'd have to meet his other housemate and all ... but theres one option at least....
I'm also still scared/nervous about my trip overseas. I am wondering if I am shooting myself in the foot by just taking off like I am planning to. I mean , heres why I am a lil scared.......
*I have refinanced my loan
* I will be applying for a work visa for Canada. If I get one , I dont really have much , qualification-wise. I have worked in the same job for 9 years but I dont have any certificates /formally recognised qualifications. So I still have to lob there in Canada and find a job that pays me enough to live off and pay my loan every week ( $ 70 a week on loan).
* After my time in Canada is up , I have to return to Aus with no money and no job.
Etc etc etc.
All these lil fearsome things are goin through my mind ... but I KNOW I have to go now. I cant put it off.
If I dont go now I may get stuck here somehow...
I'm just gonna have to go out on a limb , take a chance and dare.
I need to see Spain and Tuscany also , at the very least.
If I dare enough... maybe , maybe I will be able to write and photograph and make a new life for myself that way. Maybe , hopefully , I will become good enough to make a living off either or both.
All I know is .... if I stay here , in these circumstances , I will rot...
I only say that because of the job I am in.
I am a different person in this job , I am a zombiefied version of myself ... just another member of the rat race and I bloody hate that I am a shadow in this way.
Would never say that about anything else in my life .... because , for one thing , my family is so beautiful. As the days go by I am , increasingly , so grateful that I have such a beautiful , loving family.
My mum , my sisters , my nephews.....they are my heart....
Even though it might seem otherwise to them at times ( maybe ? ) ... I love them more then my own life. I guess I sometimes come across to them as maybe being self-absorbed and loner-esque.. I dunno ....
Constantly , I wish , that I could make their lives a little easier and give them more...
In this particular post I will highlight Nikki , my middle sister.....
Babe , I always feel as if I let you down in all ways. I was such a bitch to you growing up and I didnt cherish you like I should have. Just know that I do love you with all my heart and , if I had a magic ( fairy *wink* ) wand I would wave away all your worries and give you your prince and charmed life.
Unfortunately I cant , sweety , you're gonna have to wave your own wand to do that. But I have faith that you're strong enough to find your own way in life. You've given birth to two amazing lil boys and you've made your own way in this world.... so I know you have magic in you ;)....
Start believing in your own worth babe.
Lol writing about my little worries and fears has turned into a mush-fest for my family !
Ahhh thats what ya get from me.
Get used to it.
Beautiful Creatures
I glimpsed a news item on one of the breakfast news stations a few days ago. I only caught the end of it but the presenters were interviewing a diver who was telling his story...
He and another diver ( as far as I gathered there was only one other diver with him at the time ) were out in the ocean when , all of a sudden , there was a pod of dolphins completely surrounding them.
And CLOSELY surrounding them , for awhile.
One ( or both ) of the divers then realized that there was a shark ( great white ? ) in the water nearby and that the dolphins had closed ranks around the divers to protect them.
The shark eventually moved on and the divers , with the dolphin escorts , swam safely to shore.
I cannot , cannot , tell you how much I love dolphins. I love animals/mammals/birds/etc in general....
Actually , to note , I feel a huge affinity , respect and love for the feline species ; big & wild and small & domestic....
But dolphins ... oh those mammals are such remarkable, beautiful beings that I almost feel as if we dont deserve such beauty on earth.
It makes my soul weep in anguish to know that dolphins are slaughtered by assholes .... or caught and slowly dying in nets cast by ... you got it ; assholes.
I remember once seeing an article along with photos , showing fishermen in some asian country , in a boat .... and the river they were on was bright red.....
It was as if someone had filled a dry riverbed with red paint.
A river filled with pain.....
And they were slaughtering dolphins trapped in this river , trapped by them.
The dolphins were crying to each other ( and probably to the men ).
These creatures are like humans in the sense that they know they're being murdered. Don't ask me to explain how they differ to other mammals/animals in this respect. They have a high intelligence ( their brains are the same size as a humans brain )but I'll go out on a not so risky limb here and say that the dolphins intelligence is probably higher then a human beings.
So they cant build skyscrapers or write the lyrics to a hit song , or build an atomic bomb....
Doesnt mean we're of superior intelligence because we have the means to act on our thoughts .......
I sat there and cried like a baby , for a long time , after reading this article ( aint the first time I've cried over seeing what we do to other living things....)
My heart just hurt to its depths for them. To be honest , even now I have tears in my eyes thinkin about it.
I cant , cant , cant understand how humans can be so fucking deep-down , rotten UGLY!
These amazing mammals show nothing but love for us and a desire to protect us and men like these fishermen kill them in return.
For a long time , and even now , I wanted to work with dolphins but in order to be able to do that you need to go to college and study science/marine biology etc etc.
Theres gotta be something I can do to help them ....so I need to look into that.
I'll never make any apologies for the passion I feel for things such as this...
I would give absolutely anything to stop what we do to other living things for our own selfish means.
I'm deeply ashamed of part of the human race...
Not all .... just part.
He and another diver ( as far as I gathered there was only one other diver with him at the time ) were out in the ocean when , all of a sudden , there was a pod of dolphins completely surrounding them.
And CLOSELY surrounding them , for awhile.
One ( or both ) of the divers then realized that there was a shark ( great white ? ) in the water nearby and that the dolphins had closed ranks around the divers to protect them.
The shark eventually moved on and the divers , with the dolphin escorts , swam safely to shore.
I cannot , cannot , tell you how much I love dolphins. I love animals/mammals/birds/etc in general....
Actually , to note , I feel a huge affinity , respect and love for the feline species ; big & wild and small & domestic....
But dolphins ... oh those mammals are such remarkable, beautiful beings that I almost feel as if we dont deserve such beauty on earth.
It makes my soul weep in anguish to know that dolphins are slaughtered by assholes .... or caught and slowly dying in nets cast by ... you got it ; assholes.
I remember once seeing an article along with photos , showing fishermen in some asian country , in a boat .... and the river they were on was bright red.....
It was as if someone had filled a dry riverbed with red paint.
A river filled with pain.....
And they were slaughtering dolphins trapped in this river , trapped by them.
The dolphins were crying to each other ( and probably to the men ).
These creatures are like humans in the sense that they know they're being murdered. Don't ask me to explain how they differ to other mammals/animals in this respect. They have a high intelligence ( their brains are the same size as a humans brain )but I'll go out on a not so risky limb here and say that the dolphins intelligence is probably higher then a human beings.
So they cant build skyscrapers or write the lyrics to a hit song , or build an atomic bomb....
Doesnt mean we're of superior intelligence because we have the means to act on our thoughts .......
I sat there and cried like a baby , for a long time , after reading this article ( aint the first time I've cried over seeing what we do to other living things....)
My heart just hurt to its depths for them. To be honest , even now I have tears in my eyes thinkin about it.
I cant , cant , cant understand how humans can be so fucking deep-down , rotten UGLY!
These amazing mammals show nothing but love for us and a desire to protect us and men like these fishermen kill them in return.
For a long time , and even now , I wanted to work with dolphins but in order to be able to do that you need to go to college and study science/marine biology etc etc.
Theres gotta be something I can do to help them ....so I need to look into that.
I'll never make any apologies for the passion I feel for things such as this...
I would give absolutely anything to stop what we do to other living things for our own selfish means.
I'm deeply ashamed of part of the human race...
Not all .... just part.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
And Counting .....
17 days until my sexy Canuckian boy gets here .......
17 days of not speaking much ...as he is off to his brothers wedding in Boston ...and from there he is off to England for a visit to friends ......
Then its back to Toronto for him , shower , repack , sleep , head back to the airport and then over to me ..... here in Melbourne ......
Bittersweet waiting ..... bitter for the 'waiting ' , sweet for the meeting AFTER the waiting ......
All I can think about is that first kiss ......
17 days of not speaking much ...as he is off to his brothers wedding in Boston ...and from there he is off to England for a visit to friends ......
Then its back to Toronto for him , shower , repack , sleep , head back to the airport and then over to me ..... here in Melbourne ......
Bittersweet waiting ..... bitter for the 'waiting ' , sweet for the meeting AFTER the waiting ......
All I can think about is that first kiss ......
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Heaven In A Window
For some reason , I think I might have posted this photo somewhere else in this blog....
( if so , forgive me *wink* .. I am too lazy right now to check ....)
I took this photo of a window , a few months back.
I was actually meaning to shoot the billboards which sit underneath this window ....
But , whilst I was setting up the shot , the sun peeked through the clouds all of a sudden , and smiled its bright smile at me.....
Bouncing its reflection apon the window glass , it captured the spotlight ..
( 'Scuse the tiny pun in that ? ) ...
I am still so new to photography that all I could do was point and shoot and pray that the reflection would turn out as beautiful , on film , as what I was seeing with my naked eyes....
Yep , using it as the current desktop....I like it amongst the black background as it seems as if one is in a dark room , this window serving as the only window to the world outside ...
I have so many images that have been scanned into my computer which I havent even touched yet ....
I must do that soon .. AND find a gallery space on the net that I can upload all my images too ......
( if so , forgive me *wink* .. I am too lazy right now to check ....)
I took this photo of a window , a few months back.
I was actually meaning to shoot the billboards which sit underneath this window ....
But , whilst I was setting up the shot , the sun peeked through the clouds all of a sudden , and smiled its bright smile at me.....
Bouncing its reflection apon the window glass , it captured the spotlight ..
( 'Scuse the tiny pun in that ? ) ...
I am still so new to photography that all I could do was point and shoot and pray that the reflection would turn out as beautiful , on film , as what I was seeing with my naked eyes....
Yep , using it as the current desktop....I like it amongst the black background as it seems as if one is in a dark room , this window serving as the only window to the world outside ...
I have so many images that have been scanned into my computer which I havent even touched yet ....
I must do that soon .. AND find a gallery space on the net that I can upload all my images too ......
Fill My Cup With Sundays
Song Playing : " Wild Horses " - Rolling Stones
I used to hate Sundays.
Sundays once meant the day before school......the dreary , grey , dull Sundays where I had to clean house , wash clothes and get things ready for the week ahead.
Still do all those things , nothing much has changed except for the fact that work has replaced school and I'm a little *cough* older ...
but now I get chores done early and saunter outta the house to play allllll day.
Went to Sexpo with Scott , Melissa , Tian , Liam and Neill on Saturday night. It was so-so. Didnt bring anything back , goody wise , but there aint nothin there that cant be bought at any regular Club X or lingerie store etc.
Went down to St Kilda again today and went on another of my little photography sprees.
Had some Kodak Tri-X film loaded so hopefully I'll get some nice grainy images of beachside St Kilda and its Sunday market etc.
It started to rain as I was walkin to the long St Kilda Pier but crazy me still stood/crouched out in the rain to take a shot of couples walkin back into shore huddling under umbrellas... my photography friends will completely understand the positions we get ourselves into in the pursuit of a good pic *wink*.
As I was strolling along the beachside market I came across two different photographers sitting at their stalls.....
Oooo La la .... sweethearts , can I pick ya brain for awhile .....
Very impressed with their work. One of the photographers ; a girl from England , uses infra-red film for all her photographs.
I realllllly like the effect of infra-red!
Especially on the photos where she has captured gothic style things ( example ...she had a pic of a big wrought iron , centuries old fence that stands in front of a castle in England )....the infra-red film lends an odd sort of eerie , glowing aura about it....
When she uses infra-red on architecture and whathaveyou ...it tends to still retain that black & white quality and you might even have to look twice before you realize it aint quite b&w ....infra-red is more dramatic when fauna/plant life is photographed with it. Leaves on trees have a 'snowy effect ' etc...
The other photographer I met is this guy...
Philip Greenwood
The first image to catch my eye is this image.....
I love churches ( for the architecture )...especially the old , old gothic -style ones.
He asked me if I was going to school and I replied " No , I'm teaching myself " and he seemed to like that , expressing his sentiments that its the best way to learn....
I agree .....Read and be taught something and you will understand it .. aint anythin wrong with that ....
But when you do it , get your hands dirty with it , experience the trial and errors ......you will learn by heart and you will produce beauty thats uniquely colored by your soul & heart ...
Not from the teachers idea of what they think is beauty and how to capture it....
After a while , he mentioned he wouldnt mind , on the occassions he has a professional shoot , having an assistant !!
That would be ....uh ..... ME !! *does happy jig *
So yes ... I'm going to take him up on that ...he doesnt know what hes in for lol.
On another note , but a note that I've been carrying around for awhile now....
One little sentence has been floating around for a while ....
Now its bubbling right under this membrane-thin surface...unaware of this concept of timing ...all it wants to do is hit air and breathe .....
( god that sounds like Alien or somethin ....)
Probably just as scary ... but in a quite different way ....*innocent wink*.
....You have my complete attention babe ....
( By the way ... that isnt the sentence *grin* )
I used to hate Sundays.
Sundays once meant the day before school......the dreary , grey , dull Sundays where I had to clean house , wash clothes and get things ready for the week ahead.
Still do all those things , nothing much has changed except for the fact that work has replaced school and I'm a little *cough* older ...
but now I get chores done early and saunter outta the house to play allllll day.
Went to Sexpo with Scott , Melissa , Tian , Liam and Neill on Saturday night. It was so-so. Didnt bring anything back , goody wise , but there aint nothin there that cant be bought at any regular Club X or lingerie store etc.
Went down to St Kilda again today and went on another of my little photography sprees.
Had some Kodak Tri-X film loaded so hopefully I'll get some nice grainy images of beachside St Kilda and its Sunday market etc.
It started to rain as I was walkin to the long St Kilda Pier but crazy me still stood/crouched out in the rain to take a shot of couples walkin back into shore huddling under umbrellas... my photography friends will completely understand the positions we get ourselves into in the pursuit of a good pic *wink*.
As I was strolling along the beachside market I came across two different photographers sitting at their stalls.....
Oooo La la .... sweethearts , can I pick ya brain for awhile .....
Very impressed with their work. One of the photographers ; a girl from England , uses infra-red film for all her photographs.
I realllllly like the effect of infra-red!
Especially on the photos where she has captured gothic style things ( example ...she had a pic of a big wrought iron , centuries old fence that stands in front of a castle in England )....the infra-red film lends an odd sort of eerie , glowing aura about it....
When she uses infra-red on architecture and whathaveyou ...it tends to still retain that black & white quality and you might even have to look twice before you realize it aint quite b&w ....infra-red is more dramatic when fauna/plant life is photographed with it. Leaves on trees have a 'snowy effect ' etc...
The other photographer I met is this guy...
Philip Greenwood
The first image to catch my eye is this image.....
I love churches ( for the architecture )...especially the old , old gothic -style ones.
He asked me if I was going to school and I replied " No , I'm teaching myself " and he seemed to like that , expressing his sentiments that its the best way to learn....
I agree .....Read and be taught something and you will understand it .. aint anythin wrong with that ....
But when you do it , get your hands dirty with it , experience the trial and errors ......you will learn by heart and you will produce beauty thats uniquely colored by your soul & heart ...
Not from the teachers idea of what they think is beauty and how to capture it....
After a while , he mentioned he wouldnt mind , on the occassions he has a professional shoot , having an assistant !!
That would be ....uh ..... ME !! *does happy jig *
So yes ... I'm going to take him up on that ...he doesnt know what hes in for lol.
On another note , but a note that I've been carrying around for awhile now....
One little sentence has been floating around for a while ....
Now its bubbling right under this membrane-thin surface...unaware of this concept of timing ...all it wants to do is hit air and breathe .....
( god that sounds like Alien or somethin ....)
Probably just as scary ... but in a quite different way ....*innocent wink*.
....You have my complete attention babe ....
( By the way ... that isnt the sentence *grin* )
Monday, November 08, 2004
M.I.L.K
Heres what I bought my best male friend , Scott , for his 27th birthday .....
M.I.L.K-Humanity
Its simply an amazing , heart warming , coffee table style book and you'd be hard pressed not to have your spirits lifted by it.
Its not a cheap book ( $ 65.00 AUD ) but its worth every dollar....
I told my gorgeous girly friend , Kara , on the phone yesterday that its that kinda thang where ya buy it as a pressie for yaself and demanded she have a 'Kara Day and buy it ....somewhere along that day ....
Hmmmm Chicky .... did ya ? Huh , Huh ? * raised eyebrow *
I bought it for myself and I'ma put a lil inscription on the inside ....
" To Myself .....
Here ya go ... to cheer ya up and give ya inspiration always ....
-From .....Myself "
Haha ! Hell , why not .....?! .....
* Silly Grin *
M.I.L.K-Humanity
Its simply an amazing , heart warming , coffee table style book and you'd be hard pressed not to have your spirits lifted by it.
Its not a cheap book ( $ 65.00 AUD ) but its worth every dollar....
I told my gorgeous girly friend , Kara , on the phone yesterday that its that kinda thang where ya buy it as a pressie for yaself and demanded she have a 'Kara Day and buy it ....somewhere along that day ....
Hmmmm Chicky .... did ya ? Huh , Huh ? * raised eyebrow *
I bought it for myself and I'ma put a lil inscription on the inside ....
" To Myself .....
Here ya go ... to cheer ya up and give ya inspiration always ....
-From .....Myself "
Haha ! Hell , why not .....?! .....
* Silly Grin *
Well , Its Official
..... I have to move out of my beloved home....
My landlady's daughter walked into my work today ( I live directly opposite my workplace ) and informed me that my home has been sold and the new owners want to move in a.s.a.p......
But , legally , they have to give me 60 days notice ( minimum ). Its really bad timing as that means that the deadline will be around the 10th of January next year...
That means that we have to do some quick searching and finding of a place right over Xmas break....
Also... my sister ( who lives with me ) will be in Queensland from the 1st January to the 8th January........so she's probably gonna have to do some fast moving/planning.
The deadline of January ( with our living arrangements here ) leaves me with under 2 months of limbo time before I leave to go overseas.....( hence I cant go signing any lease ).
Kristy wants to move away from this area and closer to our other sister ( which I completely understand ...)
I wanna hang around this suburb ( I work in North Carlton ) and I'm gonna need to get a second job around this area after Xmas ( to put flesh on malnourished travel funds )..which means that it would help to keep both jobs and my home in this area..
Yowzer , everythings up in the air now ...
( presses 'Dont Panic' button once again tonight ...lol ).
Even though it was hardly a surprise I teared up a little ( not in front of said landlady's daughter but immediantly after she left ....).
Whilst she was there , I remarked to her that I adored this place and I was so sorry that I had to leave and she replied with....
" I lived in that place when I was younger , also....back in 1974 /1975...
I , also , loved this place ....
It has such a beautiful , positive , calm energy about it , hasnt it ....."
( shite ..I was born in '74...goin back a few years now lol .....).
And even though she expressed some sort of ' I understand ' sentiment ...it seemed skin-surface... more of a ...
' I really couldnt give a stuff darlin , but I'll play 'sensitive'.
Some woman from Western Australia has bought my sleepy lil dream.
She wants it and she's got the $ 600, 000 odd bucks , hanging around in her bank account , to own it ...
......and so she shall......
I guess I felt , for a little while this afternoon , a wondering ....
If I'll ever find anything in my life that will bring me happiness for the longest of whiles..
........without thumbing its nose at me and becoming someone elses .....
Hell , I know the truth .... happiness is within ...its not anything that can be instilled from the outside in ... its from inside out ....
( yeah so , fuck it ... I'm cliched and corny that way ....)
I know this ..... but , happy to report ( ha !) ... I'm human and I have weak moments where I respond ( initial , immediant reaction ) like a child who's lost her favourite toy in the world ..... I am like this for the first day or so....
Then I take a day ( or so ) to really come back to whats important ...I remember the positive and I gain some strength and insight back....
For the rest of the afternoon, I was a lil tearful and I questioned why I was being so emotional about a PLACE ....especially when I was expecting this sorta news.....AND remembering the fact that I want to travel come March next year....
I guess it comes down to the fact that I experienced a wonderful , 'I'm home' sensation .... I had found a place that felt like me and it felt wonderful....
I had started to feel like 'me' for the first time in years....
The running theme of my life so far is that , whenever I find happiness /security .... something or someone comes along and pulls out the carpet from under me ....
( Scuse the self violin playin .. i'm havin a 'feelin sorry for myself ' moment ... it'll pass *sticks tongue out * )
All I hope /wish for is to find my place in this world...to find my peace ...my place that no one can take from me ....ever.....
I dont know what I would do without my mum .....I called her after work and just sooked and cried over the phone ( yes I was just an emotional girly this afternoon )...even if she didnt provide immediant answers .... she's my mum and she's there and is the centre of my world....and thats all I ever need and want in my life.
She cradles my heart and wipes away my tears .... she smiles when I'm smiling , never judges and picks up the pieces every single time...
Mum , if you ever read this ( I tell ya in person enough anyway ) ... know that you are the most amazing person in the world to me....
My arms will never reach quite wide enough to show you just how 'BIG' I love you ... you were the first person who loved me ... and the first person I ever loved ....
'Nuff said..... :X
And Scott .....some friends are simply family that one has chosen .... you are that darlin .... you stop me from taking life too seriously and there is no way that I am lettin you wander outta my life *smooch*.
You took my mind off certain thangs tonight.
Josh ... the same goes for you too *pounce & smooooooooch * ....
but I better not say the other things I wanna say coz I sorta wanna keep this a lil , uh , PG rated ..... *goofy look *.
My landlady's daughter walked into my work today ( I live directly opposite my workplace ) and informed me that my home has been sold and the new owners want to move in a.s.a.p......
But , legally , they have to give me 60 days notice ( minimum ). Its really bad timing as that means that the deadline will be around the 10th of January next year...
That means that we have to do some quick searching and finding of a place right over Xmas break....
Also... my sister ( who lives with me ) will be in Queensland from the 1st January to the 8th January........so she's probably gonna have to do some fast moving/planning.
The deadline of January ( with our living arrangements here ) leaves me with under 2 months of limbo time before I leave to go overseas.....( hence I cant go signing any lease ).
Kristy wants to move away from this area and closer to our other sister ( which I completely understand ...)
I wanna hang around this suburb ( I work in North Carlton ) and I'm gonna need to get a second job around this area after Xmas ( to put flesh on malnourished travel funds )..which means that it would help to keep both jobs and my home in this area..
Yowzer , everythings up in the air now ...
( presses 'Dont Panic' button once again tonight ...lol ).
Even though it was hardly a surprise I teared up a little ( not in front of said landlady's daughter but immediantly after she left ....).
Whilst she was there , I remarked to her that I adored this place and I was so sorry that I had to leave and she replied with....
" I lived in that place when I was younger , also....back in 1974 /1975...
I , also , loved this place ....
It has such a beautiful , positive , calm energy about it , hasnt it ....."
( shite ..I was born in '74...goin back a few years now lol .....).
And even though she expressed some sort of ' I understand ' sentiment ...it seemed skin-surface... more of a ...
' I really couldnt give a stuff darlin , but I'll play 'sensitive'.
Some woman from Western Australia has bought my sleepy lil dream.
She wants it and she's got the $ 600, 000 odd bucks , hanging around in her bank account , to own it ...
......and so she shall......
I guess I felt , for a little while this afternoon , a wondering ....
If I'll ever find anything in my life that will bring me happiness for the longest of whiles..
........without thumbing its nose at me and becoming someone elses .....
Hell , I know the truth .... happiness is within ...its not anything that can be instilled from the outside in ... its from inside out ....
( yeah so , fuck it ... I'm cliched and corny that way ....)
I know this ..... but , happy to report ( ha !) ... I'm human and I have weak moments where I respond ( initial , immediant reaction ) like a child who's lost her favourite toy in the world ..... I am like this for the first day or so....
Then I take a day ( or so ) to really come back to whats important ...I remember the positive and I gain some strength and insight back....
For the rest of the afternoon, I was a lil tearful and I questioned why I was being so emotional about a PLACE ....especially when I was expecting this sorta news.....AND remembering the fact that I want to travel come March next year....
I guess it comes down to the fact that I experienced a wonderful , 'I'm home' sensation .... I had found a place that felt like me and it felt wonderful....
I had started to feel like 'me' for the first time in years....
The running theme of my life so far is that , whenever I find happiness /security .... something or someone comes along and pulls out the carpet from under me ....
( Scuse the self violin playin .. i'm havin a 'feelin sorry for myself ' moment ... it'll pass *sticks tongue out * )
All I hope /wish for is to find my place in this world...to find my peace ...my place that no one can take from me ....ever.....
I dont know what I would do without my mum .....I called her after work and just sooked and cried over the phone ( yes I was just an emotional girly this afternoon )...even if she didnt provide immediant answers .... she's my mum and she's there and is the centre of my world....and thats all I ever need and want in my life.
She cradles my heart and wipes away my tears .... she smiles when I'm smiling , never judges and picks up the pieces every single time...
Mum , if you ever read this ( I tell ya in person enough anyway ) ... know that you are the most amazing person in the world to me....
My arms will never reach quite wide enough to show you just how 'BIG' I love you ... you were the first person who loved me ... and the first person I ever loved ....
'Nuff said..... :X
And Scott .....some friends are simply family that one has chosen .... you are that darlin .... you stop me from taking life too seriously and there is no way that I am lettin you wander outta my life *smooch*.
You took my mind off certain thangs tonight.
Josh ... the same goes for you too *pounce & smooooooooch * ....
but I better not say the other things I wanna say coz I sorta wanna keep this a lil , uh , PG rated ..... *goofy look *.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Meet Rumi
Poetry of Rumi - 13th Century Persian mystic
Ode 314
Those who don't feel this Love
pulling them like a river,
those who don't drink dawn
like a cup of spring water
or take in sunset like supper,
those who don't want to change,
let them sleep.
This Love is beyond the study of theology,
that old trickery and hypocrisy.
If you want to improve your mind that way,
sleep on.
I've given up on my brain.
I've torn the cloth to shreds
and thrown it away.
If you're not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words
around you,
and sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I swallowed
some of the Beloved's sweet wine,
and now I am ill.
My body aches,
my fever is high.
They called in the Doctor and he said,
drink this tea!
Ok, time to drink this tea.
Take these pills!
Ok, time to take these pills.
The Doctor said,
get rid of the sweet wine of his lips!
Ok, time to get rid of the doctor.
Ode 314
Those who don't feel this Love
pulling them like a river,
those who don't drink dawn
like a cup of spring water
or take in sunset like supper,
those who don't want to change,
let them sleep.
This Love is beyond the study of theology,
that old trickery and hypocrisy.
If you want to improve your mind that way,
sleep on.
I've given up on my brain.
I've torn the cloth to shreds
and thrown it away.
If you're not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words
around you,
and sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I swallowed
some of the Beloved's sweet wine,
and now I am ill.
My body aches,
my fever is high.
They called in the Doctor and he said,
drink this tea!
Ok, time to drink this tea.
Take these pills!
Ok, time to take these pills.
The Doctor said,
get rid of the sweet wine of his lips!
Ok, time to get rid of the doctor.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Brothers
Here are a couple of shots I took of my fave mini-men , nephews Cody & Zane.
Now I'm still completely photoshop illiterate ( workin on that lol ) so the photos could probably be improved. Then again its probably good that I have no clue about PS...as I'm forced to learn to get shots the way I want them in-camera first.
Whatcha wanna be when you grow up .....
A fireman ......?
...Superman ...?
Or maybe , simply , just your little brothers hero ....
....his protector....
(I was cropping the image above when I realized what song was playing on my musicmatch jukebox at that very moment...... "Brothers In Arms " - Dire Straits ....)
Zane Contemplates ....on why his foot is unusually fuzzy
Now I'm still completely photoshop illiterate ( workin on that lol ) so the photos could probably be improved. Then again its probably good that I have no clue about PS...as I'm forced to learn to get shots the way I want them in-camera first.
Whatcha wanna be when you grow up .....
A fireman ......?
...Superman ...?
Or maybe , simply , just your little brothers hero ....
....his protector....
(I was cropping the image above when I realized what song was playing on my musicmatch jukebox at that very moment...... "Brothers In Arms " - Dire Straits ....)
Zane Contemplates ....on why his foot is unusually fuzzy
Happy Birthday Cody !
Song Playing : 'For Once In My Life ' - Stevie Wonder
Its my nephew , Cody's , 4th birthday tomorrow. The spunky mini-man is growing up too fast !!!
Cody , baby , ever since I first saw your face , your smile , it has warmed every corner of my soul and heart.... :)
The purest love is the kind of love where you would throw your life down , in an instant , to save theirs ....without any doubt or a blink of an eye.
That is the love I have for you.
The day I met you was the day my heart decided to forever walk beside me , vulnerable and out in the open , in the world.
I also feel this way for your new little brother and I know I'll feel this way for any kids I might be so lucky to have one day.
Have a magical , fantastical birthday sweet beautiful boy !
Next year will be schooltime too .... ohhhh myyyyyy !!
I made a Piñata for the Codeman ! ( ok well I bought the Piñata ....but I filled it myself !!! ) Lol....
I filled it to bursting level , with all sorts of good sweeeeeeet thangs kids lurrrrrrrve to eat , sparkly party confetti and little toys.....
Behold the Piñata .. ;)
Oh and cant forget the proper Piñata stick to bash it with .. haha !
Its my nephew , Cody's , 4th birthday tomorrow. The spunky mini-man is growing up too fast !!!
Cody , baby , ever since I first saw your face , your smile , it has warmed every corner of my soul and heart.... :)
The purest love is the kind of love where you would throw your life down , in an instant , to save theirs ....without any doubt or a blink of an eye.
That is the love I have for you.
The day I met you was the day my heart decided to forever walk beside me , vulnerable and out in the open , in the world.
I also feel this way for your new little brother and I know I'll feel this way for any kids I might be so lucky to have one day.
Have a magical , fantastical birthday sweet beautiful boy !
Next year will be schooltime too .... ohhhh myyyyyy !!
I made a Piñata for the Codeman ! ( ok well I bought the Piñata ....but I filled it myself !!! ) Lol....
I filled it to bursting level , with all sorts of good sweeeeeeet thangs kids lurrrrrrrve to eat , sparkly party confetti and little toys.....
Behold the Piñata .. ;)
Oh and cant forget the proper Piñata stick to bash it with .. haha !
Urban Sanctuary
Song Playing : ' You Are My Sunshine ' - Ray Charles
Its dusk in Melbourne.
The sky turns down its vibrant color , staining itself a deep , dark baby-blue and grey.
The trees and rooftops of Fitzroy and Carlton become slumbering sillouhettes.
The music ribboning out from my stereo slides out my open bedroom window and seductively serenades the city.
My window is my live , ever moving , murmering painting of the city that watches over me ...
As I watch over it....
I slide off my dress that I'd been trying on , the lamplight casting golden light over my skin. It chases small shadows around the curves of my waist and limbs.
My white cotton curtains ripple and billow slightly as they flirt with the cool night breeze that is whispering into my room.
The curtains part and my eyes linger over the road below , bordering the right side of my window.
Headlights of passing cars stream towards me , passing below ....then disappearing.
I dont worry that drivers might see me. And if they do , I care little.
If they , for some wierd reason , divert their eyes to the very far left....to a window up high on the side of this building and catch a glimpse of skin beyond the thick white curtains...they've passed before they even realize what they're seeing.
My ole bluesy music plays on and my gaze drifts to my favourite view from my apartment ; the city skyline.
Those tall skyscraper buildings , with blue and purple lights , which keep me company whenever I'm at my keyboard , writing. Or speaking on the phone.
I stand there , burning this sight into my memory.
Remembering to include , in this vision , the bats that fly across my window and into the big ol' tree that stands on the right hand side.
As I change into the dress I was initially wearing , my head is full of the small loss ahead of me.
The owner is selling my apartment and the shop it rests apon.
My heart aches a little at the looming split.
I love this place. More then any other place I have lived in , THIS place is mine. It was if this apartment and I were a destined couple.
The name it hums is mine.
And it hums every day.Its lullaby soothes me to sleep at night.
I wanted to , at least , have one more summer here. This is a place where spring and summer brings it to life and it is at its best.
The smooth timber floorboards cool my bare feet.
The freshly painted white walls glow with the streaming sunlight that infuses this space during the day. Smouldering with candle or lamp light during the nights.
The gentle smell of my sandlewood incense wafting through the airy rooms.
The neighbourhood birds ; sparrows , willy wagtails , pigeons ... they all love my place as much as I do.
They play in my courtyard every day.... bathing in the little birdbath I set up for them , sheltering on rainy days under my sloping roof .... and eating the breadcrumbs I scatter around for them each day.
BBQ's on the courtyard overlooking a drowsy warm city. A spread of rooftops below , as far as the eye could see.
When dusk settles over this city it turns magical.The skyscrapers that line the horizon light up like glittery wands.
The guy who lives across the road is outside again , smokin his cigarette and glancing up every now and then. I sit at my desk and write and he sits outside for awhile and smokes. I think the presence of the other must reassure both of us that in the midst of the noisy hustle and bustle , there are at least two of us who have slowed down for a few moments in time.
But when I leave , he probably wont miss the sight of me and I wont miss him...
Thats life ..... its ever shifting.
We move on ... casting our eyes ahead.
I hope I find another place that fits me as much as this one. One which cultivates this sense of peace and happiness and creativity....
I keep reminding myself of my goal of living in New Orleans a spell...finding a place like this one , all of my own ...and playing my blues /jazz music , dancing , writing my first novel , breathing in that musky warm air....
Thats where I gotta go next.
Everything happens for a reason. This place will be sold and I wont linger too long because theres somewhere else I gotta be.
Then , eventually theres that house by the beach I dream of, the beautiful luxurious bathroom and darkroom that will be in it and the parting with this place seems easier.
Its funny how one attaches oneself to places and things , when our home is inside of ourselves......
I hope the new owners see the charm in this place that I do...I hope they dont renovate its charm right outta it....
And I hope they're kind to my little feathered buddies.
Its dusk in Melbourne.
The sky turns down its vibrant color , staining itself a deep , dark baby-blue and grey.
The trees and rooftops of Fitzroy and Carlton become slumbering sillouhettes.
The music ribboning out from my stereo slides out my open bedroom window and seductively serenades the city.
My window is my live , ever moving , murmering painting of the city that watches over me ...
As I watch over it....
I slide off my dress that I'd been trying on , the lamplight casting golden light over my skin. It chases small shadows around the curves of my waist and limbs.
My white cotton curtains ripple and billow slightly as they flirt with the cool night breeze that is whispering into my room.
The curtains part and my eyes linger over the road below , bordering the right side of my window.
Headlights of passing cars stream towards me , passing below ....then disappearing.
I dont worry that drivers might see me. And if they do , I care little.
If they , for some wierd reason , divert their eyes to the very far left....to a window up high on the side of this building and catch a glimpse of skin beyond the thick white curtains...they've passed before they even realize what they're seeing.
My ole bluesy music plays on and my gaze drifts to my favourite view from my apartment ; the city skyline.
Those tall skyscraper buildings , with blue and purple lights , which keep me company whenever I'm at my keyboard , writing. Or speaking on the phone.
I stand there , burning this sight into my memory.
Remembering to include , in this vision , the bats that fly across my window and into the big ol' tree that stands on the right hand side.
As I change into the dress I was initially wearing , my head is full of the small loss ahead of me.
The owner is selling my apartment and the shop it rests apon.
My heart aches a little at the looming split.
I love this place. More then any other place I have lived in , THIS place is mine. It was if this apartment and I were a destined couple.
The name it hums is mine.
And it hums every day.Its lullaby soothes me to sleep at night.
I wanted to , at least , have one more summer here. This is a place where spring and summer brings it to life and it is at its best.
The smooth timber floorboards cool my bare feet.
The freshly painted white walls glow with the streaming sunlight that infuses this space during the day. Smouldering with candle or lamp light during the nights.
The gentle smell of my sandlewood incense wafting through the airy rooms.
The neighbourhood birds ; sparrows , willy wagtails , pigeons ... they all love my place as much as I do.
They play in my courtyard every day.... bathing in the little birdbath I set up for them , sheltering on rainy days under my sloping roof .... and eating the breadcrumbs I scatter around for them each day.
BBQ's on the courtyard overlooking a drowsy warm city. A spread of rooftops below , as far as the eye could see.
When dusk settles over this city it turns magical.The skyscrapers that line the horizon light up like glittery wands.
The guy who lives across the road is outside again , smokin his cigarette and glancing up every now and then. I sit at my desk and write and he sits outside for awhile and smokes. I think the presence of the other must reassure both of us that in the midst of the noisy hustle and bustle , there are at least two of us who have slowed down for a few moments in time.
But when I leave , he probably wont miss the sight of me and I wont miss him...
Thats life ..... its ever shifting.
We move on ... casting our eyes ahead.
I hope I find another place that fits me as much as this one. One which cultivates this sense of peace and happiness and creativity....
I keep reminding myself of my goal of living in New Orleans a spell...finding a place like this one , all of my own ...and playing my blues /jazz music , dancing , writing my first novel , breathing in that musky warm air....
Thats where I gotta go next.
Everything happens for a reason. This place will be sold and I wont linger too long because theres somewhere else I gotta be.
Then , eventually theres that house by the beach I dream of, the beautiful luxurious bathroom and darkroom that will be in it and the parting with this place seems easier.
Its funny how one attaches oneself to places and things , when our home is inside of ourselves......
I hope the new owners see the charm in this place that I do...I hope they dont renovate its charm right outta it....
And I hope they're kind to my little feathered buddies.
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