*Update: The below is a post I wrote back in early December last year. I had written it but decided to keep it as a draft only because Josh and I had our immigration interview coming up later that week and, as I had given them this blog site address as proof of a history of our relationship, I didn't want them reading that I had a potential health problem. Just in case it worked against our application...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I had a dream last night...
What is unusual about that, eh? Everyone dreams, everynight.
Well, these days, it is highly unusual for me to remember my dreams.
So this dream...I was walking down the street after telling Josh I will meet back with him at a particular nominated spot (which I can't recall). I have my black knapsack slung on my shoulder, as it normally is.
A monk starts walking closely behind me. He is small in stature and wearing the robes monks wear. I realize too late that the zipper on my bag is open and the contents of my bag are on show, pocketed by the small unzipped section left.
The monk roughly burrows his grabbing hands in my bag, and grabs my purse and my camera. I distinctly have the feeling of "Noooo! My purse and camera contain my life, I CAN'T lose them!"
We struggle. It seems as though I am fighting a losing battle and feel sure I'm gonna lose both camera and purse. But finally, the monk lets go and scrambles off, leaving me standing with my things intact.
This dream struck me when I woke up and stayed with me throughout the day.
My new job, which I love, held a skin cancer screening session today for all employees. They flew a doctor in from Sydney, to spend all day checking our skin, one at a time.
I booked in as I have been meaning to get checked for awhile but, like most of us, don't get around to seeing a doctor. Also, there is this bruise-like thing under the toenail on my big toe, on my right foot. I noticed it about two weeks ago and paid attention to it as it had seemed to develop overnight. Josh mentioned that it might be just a bruise, that maybe I stubbed it or knocked it but I knew that hadn't happened. I looked at it and noticed it actually looked like a mole, an irregular one.
So, today, I was very interested in getting checked out and pointed out my toe to the doc. He grew VERY serious on inspecting it and actually put off other colleagues because he wanted to get me looked at by a Melbourne doctor, YESTERDAY. He started calling around and I overheard it telling doctor's receptionists "No, Wednesday next week is not soon enough. I need her to be seen today or tomorrow for a biopsy".
He is 90% sure it is a melanoma. He gave me his mobile number and asked me to promise that I will call him with the results. I have booked in to see someone next Wednesday.
I was so slammed busy at work today I didn't even have time to grab a glass of water and catch a breath. This kept me from letting his alarm and concern worry me to much. But now, here I sit at the computer and Google, researching melanoma and, in particular, melanoma under the toenail...and reading that it is the most lethal and aggressive form of skin cancer...I know I have faced almost dying a couple of times in my life but this has given me pause and a sudden reassessing of my life and what I have taken for granted.
Hey, it may just be in the early stages and will be treated successfully by surgery. But I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a little scared right now.
That dream I had last night is taking on a bit of meaning right now...?
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
God Aint gatecrashin THAT partay...
This made me laugh...
God a No-Show To TomKats Wedding?!
In case ya can't be bothered clicking on the link, here's the article, courtesy of pugbus...
"God Not Attending Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Wedding
By Chip Hilton
Nov 18, 2006, 10:32
VATICAN CITY - God issued a brief press release yesterday explaining that he won't attend the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes because he fears his presence would turn the ceremony into a media circus. Many god watchers interpreted his absence as a snub because he is offended by sham marriages between Catholic women and gay movie stars outside the church.
God's statement insists, however, that his absence is motivated simply by a desire not to infringe on the couple's privacy. In addition, the statement noted, god's decision should not be interpreted as payback for Mr. Cruise' snub of god's mother, Oprah Winfrey, who was not invited to the wedding.
"Nevertheless," Vatican insiders whisper "there was no way the big guy was going after he heard L. Ron Hubbard's seat at the wedding table was closer to the groom's than his."
In other wedding-of-the-century news, Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Ms. Holmes will wear a white satin jumper-gown, a high-fashion replica of the outfit she wore on her first date with Mr. Cruise, a visit to Chuck E. Cheese.
The menu for the reception is reported to include an open pizza bar followed by a sit down dinner of Salisbury steak, cheese fries, and creamed corn—and that's just for Kirstie Alley and her party.
Dessert is chocolate ice cream sculpted to resemble Oprah Winfrey's face. Guests are provided with tiny bowls of warn Vanilla Sky sauce to pour over the Oprah image.
A local winery, in return for being allowed to place its logo on the bride and groom's souvenir matchbooks, provided complimentary glasses of a forty-four-year-old merlot described as "short on the tongue but virile for its age."
Guests are "strongly advised" to arrive two hours prior to the ceremony in order to give themselves time to freshen up after being strip searched. Cell phones and cameras will be confiscated, and guests' hands will be stamped with an image of a L. Ron Hubbard. Guests have been informed that if they leave the reception hall, they will not be readmitted.
- PugBus.Com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least Katie had something old (Tom), something new (Suri), something borrowed (Scientology) and something blue (her family's mood, caused by her marrying Cruise-Control).
God a No-Show To TomKats Wedding?!
In case ya can't be bothered clicking on the link, here's the article, courtesy of pugbus...
"God Not Attending Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Wedding
By Chip Hilton
Nov 18, 2006, 10:32
VATICAN CITY - God issued a brief press release yesterday explaining that he won't attend the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes because he fears his presence would turn the ceremony into a media circus. Many god watchers interpreted his absence as a snub because he is offended by sham marriages between Catholic women and gay movie stars outside the church.
God's statement insists, however, that his absence is motivated simply by a desire not to infringe on the couple's privacy. In addition, the statement noted, god's decision should not be interpreted as payback for Mr. Cruise' snub of god's mother, Oprah Winfrey, who was not invited to the wedding.
"Nevertheless," Vatican insiders whisper "there was no way the big guy was going after he heard L. Ron Hubbard's seat at the wedding table was closer to the groom's than his."
In other wedding-of-the-century news, Entertainment Tonight is reporting that Ms. Holmes will wear a white satin jumper-gown, a high-fashion replica of the outfit she wore on her first date with Mr. Cruise, a visit to Chuck E. Cheese.
The menu for the reception is reported to include an open pizza bar followed by a sit down dinner of Salisbury steak, cheese fries, and creamed corn—and that's just for Kirstie Alley and her party.
Dessert is chocolate ice cream sculpted to resemble Oprah Winfrey's face. Guests are provided with tiny bowls of warn Vanilla Sky sauce to pour over the Oprah image.
A local winery, in return for being allowed to place its logo on the bride and groom's souvenir matchbooks, provided complimentary glasses of a forty-four-year-old merlot described as "short on the tongue but virile for its age."
Guests are "strongly advised" to arrive two hours prior to the ceremony in order to give themselves time to freshen up after being strip searched. Cell phones and cameras will be confiscated, and guests' hands will be stamped with an image of a L. Ron Hubbard. Guests have been informed that if they leave the reception hall, they will not be readmitted.
- PugBus.Com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least Katie had something old (Tom), something new (Suri), something borrowed (Scientology) and something blue (her family's mood, caused by her marrying Cruise-Control).
Friday, November 10, 2006
Belinda Emmett Died This Morning
I just saw the news on tv :(
Belinda Emmett Passes Away
I guess the news is still fresh because it was the only article I could find when I googled it.
I know it isn't a shock per se, because Belinda (Rove McManus's wife for those that are going "huh?") had been fighting cancer for the past eight years. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer, had treatment and was in remission. Then it spread. She has shown a lot of optimism though and no one had any idea she was losing the battle fast...
So, it wasn't a shock but it was a sad surprise. I did a double take at the tv and went "WHAT?! Awwww nooooo".
I feel so sad for her and Rove.
Belinda Emmett Passes Away
I guess the news is still fresh because it was the only article I could find when I googled it.
I know it isn't a shock per se, because Belinda (Rove McManus's wife for those that are going "huh?") had been fighting cancer for the past eight years. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer, had treatment and was in remission. Then it spread. She has shown a lot of optimism though and no one had any idea she was losing the battle fast...
So, it wasn't a shock but it was a sad surprise. I did a double take at the tv and went "WHAT?! Awwww nooooo".
I feel so sad for her and Rove.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Took Your Cell Phone For A Swim?
Here's an article I ran into recently and thought it might be a help to all cell/mobile phone owners (lets face it, who doesn't have a cell phone these days?)
It's basically some tips on what to do if your phone goes for a swim, whether it be in the ocean, toilet or your drink at the local pub...
Rescuing a wet cellphone
It's one of those 'useless bits of info, that might come in handy one day' sorta deal.
You're welcome, in advance *wink*.
It's basically some tips on what to do if your phone goes for a swim, whether it be in the ocean, toilet or your drink at the local pub...
Rescuing a wet cellphone
It's one of those 'useless bits of info, that might come in handy one day' sorta deal.
You're welcome, in advance *wink*.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Sometimes I Get These Urges
...to be a smartass and do things like taking a marker and writing '=16' on all the vehicles that have '4x4' on them.
Or maybe that's too clever. I should show that I'm 'street/ghetto fabulous' enough and make it an even '20'.
Or maybe that's too clever. I should show that I'm 'street/ghetto fabulous' enough and make it an even '20'.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Dropping the Curtain
People live two kinds of lives, all at once, all rolled up in one.
There's the life they live for other people, one they think they should live. It's full of 'shoulds'.
A play they perform for an audience, usually full of strangers, but with their loved ones sitting in the front row, in the Society Theatre.
The backstage is where it's most interesting, where honesty lies, warts and all.
There, the mask is dropped, there are no autocues, no costumes, no heavy make-up.
What does one do when they don't wanna perform 'The Play' anymore? When they wanna drop lines and ad-lib with what they really think and feel?
There's the life they live for other people, one they think they should live. It's full of 'shoulds'.
A play they perform for an audience, usually full of strangers, but with their loved ones sitting in the front row, in the Society Theatre.
The backstage is where it's most interesting, where honesty lies, warts and all.
There, the mask is dropped, there are no autocues, no costumes, no heavy make-up.
What does one do when they don't wanna perform 'The Play' anymore? When they wanna drop lines and ad-lib with what they really think and feel?
Dad
My dad is really sick.
He has been for the past few years but he's getting worse. He was always a thin man, has struggled to put any weight on him, let alone keep it on. He has been helicoptered to hospital too many times, where I've lost count.
His body isn't metabolising any food he manages to keep down, it's started metabolising his body instead.So now, he's down to 50 kg's. For a man that is 6"1, that's thin.
My mind has accepted that he won't walk me down the aisle in Hawaii. Not that it's the be all and end all in the grand scheme of things, I know. I'm not big-headed enough to think that walking me down the aisle is the important thing. It's just one of those little significant moments you like to think will happen, thats all.
He's depressed. He's all the way in Queensland and us kids are all the way here in Melbourne. He says often, almost every conversation, that there isn't much he doesn't feel sorry for and about. That the only thing he 'managed to get right' is us kids. I feel horrible that he's talking like that.
I just want him to get better, thats all. The doctors say that it's hopeless and nothing can be done, there is no cure, just pain relief to help him 'cope'. I've googled the illness he has, and Google is just as pessimistic as the bloody doctors.
He has been for the past few years but he's getting worse. He was always a thin man, has struggled to put any weight on him, let alone keep it on. He has been helicoptered to hospital too many times, where I've lost count.
His body isn't metabolising any food he manages to keep down, it's started metabolising his body instead.So now, he's down to 50 kg's. For a man that is 6"1, that's thin.
My mind has accepted that he won't walk me down the aisle in Hawaii. Not that it's the be all and end all in the grand scheme of things, I know. I'm not big-headed enough to think that walking me down the aisle is the important thing. It's just one of those little significant moments you like to think will happen, thats all.
He's depressed. He's all the way in Queensland and us kids are all the way here in Melbourne. He says often, almost every conversation, that there isn't much he doesn't feel sorry for and about. That the only thing he 'managed to get right' is us kids. I feel horrible that he's talking like that.
I just want him to get better, thats all. The doctors say that it's hopeless and nothing can be done, there is no cure, just pain relief to help him 'cope'. I've googled the illness he has, and Google is just as pessimistic as the bloody doctors.
I'm One Big Slacker!
Even my blog doesn't hear from me much these days.
I can hear it now, in a whiny Brooklyn accent:
"You don't caaaaall, you don't wriiiiite, not even your poor ol BLOG!"
Went for a couple of interviews yesterday. I think I'm getting a bit better at the interview thing. At least, yesterday I was on FIRE! Haha. I'd hire me, hell I'd give me Employee of the Month, before I'd worked a day!
Uh huh, yeah, I'm full of it. I don't need to be told. Toilets would look at me (if they had eyes) and comment "Wow, she's clogged up with the stuff" (if they had vocal cords).
Plannin a weddin here (shock, gasp, NO WAY!?) and thinkin I'm gonna start a sista-blog to this one, just for wedding crap. There aint a whole lot of real-life information about planning a destination wedding. I found a couple of great sites; a forum and somethin else on The Knot. Other then that, when I google 'Destination Wedding' or 'Wedding in Hawaii' all I get are syrupy-sweet "let us plan your dream wedding in Aloha Haw-ai-iiiii" wedding planner sites. Full of bad photography of couples who look like they got married in the 80's.
So, I'll just start my own destination-wedding-blog, with ideas I've found and all the little scambles a destination bride makes whilst trying not to look like Bridezilla.
Might even throw in a couple of 'knock-knock' jokes in there, if you're good.
I can hear it now, in a whiny Brooklyn accent:
"You don't caaaaall, you don't wriiiiite, not even your poor ol BLOG!"
Went for a couple of interviews yesterday. I think I'm getting a bit better at the interview thing. At least, yesterday I was on FIRE! Haha. I'd hire me, hell I'd give me Employee of the Month, before I'd worked a day!
Uh huh, yeah, I'm full of it. I don't need to be told. Toilets would look at me (if they had eyes) and comment "Wow, she's clogged up with the stuff" (if they had vocal cords).
Plannin a weddin here (shock, gasp, NO WAY!?) and thinkin I'm gonna start a sista-blog to this one, just for wedding crap. There aint a whole lot of real-life information about planning a destination wedding. I found a couple of great sites; a forum and somethin else on The Knot. Other then that, when I google 'Destination Wedding' or 'Wedding in Hawaii' all I get are syrupy-sweet "let us plan your dream wedding in Aloha Haw-ai-iiiii" wedding planner sites. Full of bad photography of couples who look like they got married in the 80's.
So, I'll just start my own destination-wedding-blog, with ideas I've found and all the little scambles a destination bride makes whilst trying not to look like Bridezilla.
Might even throw in a couple of 'knock-knock' jokes in there, if you're good.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Ahem, May I Have Your Attention Please
Over here....you sir, up in aisle 4, seat 296, put your popcorn down...I have an announcement...
It's Josh's 31st birthday!!!
*Crowd goes wild, some start climbing banisters*.
Seriously honey...and I know you've logged onto my blog today...still in your pj's, hair all sticky-up and all in that very sexy kinda way, to see if I spilled what today is....see there ya go, now you're smiling (even if you're shaking your head at the same time) and thinkin' "Dork-Ass....!"
Happy birthday babe, my absolutely amazing man!
Today is the start of your birthday week and I am going to spend all week spoiling you, showing you how much I love and adore you (as long as I can taunt you and be my usual smartass self too).
Let today be the start of the best year of your life yet. You are everything to me, I can't even begin to express how much you mean to me...but I plan on spending the rest of my life trying.
Love you so much honey *smooch*
It's Josh's 31st birthday!!!
*Crowd goes wild, some start climbing banisters*.
Seriously honey...and I know you've logged onto my blog today...still in your pj's, hair all sticky-up and all in that very sexy kinda way, to see if I spilled what today is....see there ya go, now you're smiling (even if you're shaking your head at the same time) and thinkin' "Dork-Ass....!"
Happy birthday babe, my absolutely amazing man!
Today is the start of your birthday week and I am going to spend all week spoiling you, showing you how much I love and adore you (as long as I can taunt you and be my usual smartass self too).
Let today be the start of the best year of your life yet. You are everything to me, I can't even begin to express how much you mean to me...but I plan on spending the rest of my life trying.
Love you so much honey *smooch*
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Watch Over Me
'When trouble fills my world
you bring me peace
you calm me down
you're my release
when walls come crashing around my feet
you light my way
you're my release
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
when the sun is beating down upon my brow
you are my shade
you cool me down
every time i tried to turn away
you brought me 'round
your humble way
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
there to rescue me
for every time you sheltered me from harm
you showed me truth
kept me warm
every time you left me on the street
i found my way
i found my feet
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
there to rescue me
there to pull me free
there to rescue me' -Bernard Fanning
you bring me peace
you calm me down
you're my release
when walls come crashing around my feet
you light my way
you're my release
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
when the sun is beating down upon my brow
you are my shade
you cool me down
every time i tried to turn away
you brought me 'round
your humble way
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
there to rescue me
for every time you sheltered me from harm
you showed me truth
kept me warm
every time you left me on the street
i found my way
i found my feet
so say you'll watch over me
when i'm in too deep
tell me you'll always be
there to pull me free
there to rescue me
there to pull me free
there to rescue me' -Bernard Fanning
Monday, September 04, 2006
Rolling The Dice
As most of the world knows by now, Steve Irwin died yesterday.
I had just come back from lunch and was working out the back, with the designers, when I overhead the words 'Steve Irwin' and 'stingray' and just general joking around. For quite awhile, I just thought they were joking about the fact that he was stung by an animal he was handling, yet again, and assumed he was fine until I heard one of the girls mention how he has a young family and she felt bad for them, the kids especially. I started to think "oh, does she mean....nahhhhh, no way.....?" and walked to my computer to google for any news and thats when I saw that, yes, he had been killed just an hour before.
So surreal. He's one of those well-known people who, when you find out they've just died, can't fathom it. He really did seem larger then life and just someone that will always be around.
As much as I would roll my eyes when people would find out that I was Australian ,during my overseas ventures, and go "Steve Irwin- Crocodile Hunter!" I feel really sad that he's gone.
Sometimes whilst overseas, I got asked if I knew him. Aussies overseas probably have all been associated with him, as soon as their nationality was confirmed. It was amusing and expected.
He was real. He was who he was, there was no fake shit with or about him and thats why he appealed to people. He lived his life as real and as true as most people wish they could. He did what he loved and was passionate about and poured his whole heart and being into it.
And he died doing what he loved.
What a life well lived.
Goodbye to one of life's genuine, big hearted people.
Why are these people always taken first, while evil, horrible people stick around forever?
I had just come back from lunch and was working out the back, with the designers, when I overhead the words 'Steve Irwin' and 'stingray' and just general joking around. For quite awhile, I just thought they were joking about the fact that he was stung by an animal he was handling, yet again, and assumed he was fine until I heard one of the girls mention how he has a young family and she felt bad for them, the kids especially. I started to think "oh, does she mean....nahhhhh, no way.....?" and walked to my computer to google for any news and thats when I saw that, yes, he had been killed just an hour before.
So surreal. He's one of those well-known people who, when you find out they've just died, can't fathom it. He really did seem larger then life and just someone that will always be around.
As much as I would roll my eyes when people would find out that I was Australian ,during my overseas ventures, and go "Steve Irwin- Crocodile Hunter!" I feel really sad that he's gone.
Sometimes whilst overseas, I got asked if I knew him. Aussies overseas probably have all been associated with him, as soon as their nationality was confirmed. It was amusing and expected.
He was real. He was who he was, there was no fake shit with or about him and thats why he appealed to people. He lived his life as real and as true as most people wish they could. He did what he loved and was passionate about and poured his whole heart and being into it.
And he died doing what he loved.
What a life well lived.
Goodbye to one of life's genuine, big hearted people.
Why are these people always taken first, while evil, horrible people stick around forever?
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Roaming Rome
Blurry....but giddy happy...
I escape into these memories, of my travels, during these days of stress, exhaustion and uncertainty.
I escape into these memories, of my travels, during these days of stress, exhaustion and uncertainty.
Swimming Underwater or Long Drowned?
What is it I salvage from mediocrity, wholesale ideas, stereotypes? My individual world, in which I grow faster, learn more and live more deeply.
-Anais Nin
-Anais Nin
Friday, August 25, 2006
Vitamin Of The Soul
I stumbled onto this woman's site, I forget how, and I started to read and was seduced into her world.
I started to read her life backwards...then I got to the middle and feel compelled to read it from the start, onwards.
She possesses so much beauty, so much heart, courage, compassion, writing her truth as poetry and illustrating it with amazing photography.
A few times I felt moved to tears....particularly on these two posts:
worn
bench
I just want to read every single word....Jen Gray
I started to read her life backwards...then I got to the middle and feel compelled to read it from the start, onwards.
She possesses so much beauty, so much heart, courage, compassion, writing her truth as poetry and illustrating it with amazing photography.
A few times I felt moved to tears....particularly on these two posts:
worn
bench
I just want to read every single word....Jen Gray
Be Courageous
“There is always a moment in any kind of struggle when
one feels in full bloom. Vivid. Alive. One might be
blown to bits in such a moment and still be at peace.
Martin Luther King, Jr. at the mountaintop. Gandhi
dying with the name of God on his lips. Sojourner
Truth baring her breasts at a women’s rights
convention in 1851. Harriet Tubman exposing her
revolver to some of the slaves she had freed, who,
fearing an unknown freedom, looked longingly backward
to their captivity, thereby endangering the freedom of
all.
To be such a person or to witness anyone at this
moment of transcendent presence is to know that what
is human is linked, by a daring compassion, to what is
divine.
During my years of being close to people
engaged in changing the world I have seen fear turn
into courage. Sorrow into joy. Funerals into
celebrations.
Because whatever the consequences,
people, standing side by side, have expressed who they
really are, and that ultimately they believe in the
love of the world and each other enough to be
that—which is the foundation of activism.” ~ alice walker
one feels in full bloom. Vivid. Alive. One might be
blown to bits in such a moment and still be at peace.
Martin Luther King, Jr. at the mountaintop. Gandhi
dying with the name of God on his lips. Sojourner
Truth baring her breasts at a women’s rights
convention in 1851. Harriet Tubman exposing her
revolver to some of the slaves she had freed, who,
fearing an unknown freedom, looked longingly backward
to their captivity, thereby endangering the freedom of
all.
To be such a person or to witness anyone at this
moment of transcendent presence is to know that what
is human is linked, by a daring compassion, to what is
divine.
During my years of being close to people
engaged in changing the world I have seen fear turn
into courage. Sorrow into joy. Funerals into
celebrations.
Because whatever the consequences,
people, standing side by side, have expressed who they
really are, and that ultimately they believe in the
love of the world and each other enough to be
that—which is the foundation of activism.” ~ alice walker
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Revisiting the Mantra
Stay Positive.....things will get better....
Repeat 200 times.
I'm trying to listen to what my gut instinct is telling me.....I wish it wouldn't whisper. I wish my mind could shut up.
Feeling like a bit of an idiot right now. Am I about to make a decision that will mean being true to myself or a decision that is misguided and foolish?
I'll know that when I know which way is up, which end my feet are as opposed to my head.
Repeat 200 times.
I'm trying to listen to what my gut instinct is telling me.....I wish it wouldn't whisper. I wish my mind could shut up.
Feeling like a bit of an idiot right now. Am I about to make a decision that will mean being true to myself or a decision that is misguided and foolish?
I'll know that when I know which way is up, which end my feet are as opposed to my head.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Two Year Anniversary
It's SoulsJuice's two year anniversary!
I started this on the eve of my 30th Birthday, I guess it was my way of kicking off my 30s, coming to terms with 'growing up and being adult' and whatnot *wink*.
Don't think the adult part has sunk in, still waiting to feel like a 'grown up'. My version just doesn't feel the same as my parents version, when I would look to them as my 'grown-ups'.
Maybe they're waiting to feel 'grown-up' too...maybe we'll all forever be the knee-high kid looking up at the 'responsible adults'.
Maybe I'll just stay a kid, wearing a womans skin.
Happy 32nd birthday to me!
I started this on the eve of my 30th Birthday, I guess it was my way of kicking off my 30s, coming to terms with 'growing up and being adult' and whatnot *wink*.
Don't think the adult part has sunk in, still waiting to feel like a 'grown up'. My version just doesn't feel the same as my parents version, when I would look to them as my 'grown-ups'.
Maybe they're waiting to feel 'grown-up' too...maybe we'll all forever be the knee-high kid looking up at the 'responsible adults'.
Maybe I'll just stay a kid, wearing a womans skin.
Happy 32nd birthday to me!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Inspiring Read
I am finding this speech is proving to be one I am reading regularly in recent days.
Find what you love
I grabbed the link from a friend of mine, Dan, from The Photo Forum. So, thanks Dan!
Been home for 2 days now, sick from work. After one week of my 'two-week-trial' at this design place. Don't know how to feel about working there, just an uneasy vibe. Don't know if if I'm being stupid about it or if the feeling is valid. I know it's a good opportunity. I mean, hey, it's a creative field and there's possibly room for me to move from doing reception/PA to a creative role. It's just that I'm getting a sense of "a toe in the right direction but not at this particular place".
I feel like a major wuss right now, who doesnt know her head from her ass.
Find what you love
I grabbed the link from a friend of mine, Dan, from The Photo Forum. So, thanks Dan!
Been home for 2 days now, sick from work. After one week of my 'two-week-trial' at this design place. Don't know how to feel about working there, just an uneasy vibe. Don't know if if I'm being stupid about it or if the feeling is valid. I know it's a good opportunity. I mean, hey, it's a creative field and there's possibly room for me to move from doing reception/PA to a creative role. It's just that I'm getting a sense of "a toe in the right direction but not at this particular place".
I feel like a major wuss right now, who doesnt know her head from her ass.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Pearl of Wisdom
I was browsing through a Flickr members photos and a paragraph of his captured my attention, as it stands true with how I feel since Josh has been in my life. Actually, the longer I've been with him, the more I feel this way.
The paragraph?
"You know someone is special when they make you, just through knowing you, reevaluate the way you see the world."
The paragraph?
"You know someone is special when they make you, just through knowing you, reevaluate the way you see the world."
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Oh By The Way...
...I just wanted to reiterate the fact that my husband-to-be is not only the most romantic guy around...he's also a spunk...!
Hey, a girl's allowed to brag, every once in a while.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and tie a pillow to my butt as, once he sees this post, he's gonna kick it (after he stops laughing that is...).
Hey, a girl's allowed to brag, every once in a while.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and tie a pillow to my butt as, once he sees this post, he's gonna kick it (after he stops laughing that is...).
Mantra
Reading back over all the posts I have made since being back Australia-Side (mental note: change the sub-heading on this blog, Dorothy aint in Toronto anymo').
Man, do I sound whiny!
I, along with Josh, find ourselves repeating the mantra: Stay Positive, stay positive, stay positive.....
A lot on our plate this year but we do have so many things that are good. To stay positive about. We've just got a lot to get through and it's proving to be a challenge. Yet, when we do get through it, we'll have learnt a thing or two and become stronger for it.
So yes, it's all good and positive and I won't hear a word otherwise!
I do, however, reserve the right to bitch about it in the process....haha
Man, do I sound whiny!
I, along with Josh, find ourselves repeating the mantra: Stay Positive, stay positive, stay positive.....
A lot on our plate this year but we do have so many things that are good. To stay positive about. We've just got a lot to get through and it's proving to be a challenge. Yet, when we do get through it, we'll have learnt a thing or two and become stronger for it.
So yes, it's all good and positive and I won't hear a word otherwise!
I do, however, reserve the right to bitch about it in the process....haha
Sunday, July 23, 2006
More wedding stuff
Just showing you the location and the gazebo we are getting married in...
I also just discovered, in my search for photos of it, that the gazebo is the exact same one which was filmed for Lost, for the scene where Jack married Sara. Though, in the Lost photo, there is a rogue tree....maybe a prop lol? It was a flashback scene, which Lost fans would know. It was the 'Do No Harm' episode.
Here is the reception ballroom we have had booked for us by Susan...note the loverrrly waterfall in the background, in the garden :-)
We are having 'food stations' as they are a cheaper alternative to a fixed menu. There will be different food stations, manned by a chef/s, where guests can choose from. Buffet-style, if you will. We had a large and varied choice but we ended up going for safe options; the requisite hors d'oeuvres to start, a pasta station, varied pasta with a couple of different sauce choices such as bolognese, a 'create-your own-salad' station (the choice in salads look yummy too), stir fry with a choice of chicken or a vegetarian alternative and we chose the ice-cream option for dessert, which gives you either vanilla or chocolate ice cream with a delicious list of add-ons such as chopped macadamia nuts, cookie nuggets, strawberries, blueberries, chocolate sauce etc etc, along with coffee and tea. Most people like ice-cream and we're keeping in mind there will also be wedding cake, (possibly chocolate mud-cake?) ...which is friendly to ice cream.
It's funny, it looks like our wedding choices are expensive. Our choices; location, food, using a wedding planner etc look that way but aren't blowing our budget really. Having a destination wedding might look like a more costly alternative to a wedding in your home city but it can cost the same in the long run, depending on how creative you get and getting the right people in to help plan it.
I also just discovered, in my search for photos of it, that the gazebo is the exact same one which was filmed for Lost, for the scene where Jack married Sara. Though, in the Lost photo, there is a rogue tree....maybe a prop lol? It was a flashback scene, which Lost fans would know. It was the 'Do No Harm' episode.
Here is the reception ballroom we have had booked for us by Susan...note the loverrrly waterfall in the background, in the garden :-)
We are having 'food stations' as they are a cheaper alternative to a fixed menu. There will be different food stations, manned by a chef/s, where guests can choose from. Buffet-style, if you will. We had a large and varied choice but we ended up going for safe options; the requisite hors d'oeuvres to start, a pasta station, varied pasta with a couple of different sauce choices such as bolognese, a 'create-your own-salad' station (the choice in salads look yummy too), stir fry with a choice of chicken or a vegetarian alternative and we chose the ice-cream option for dessert, which gives you either vanilla or chocolate ice cream with a delicious list of add-ons such as chopped macadamia nuts, cookie nuggets, strawberries, blueberries, chocolate sauce etc etc, along with coffee and tea. Most people like ice-cream and we're keeping in mind there will also be wedding cake, (possibly chocolate mud-cake?) ...which is friendly to ice cream.
It's funny, it looks like our wedding choices are expensive. Our choices; location, food, using a wedding planner etc look that way but aren't blowing our budget really. Having a destination wedding might look like a more costly alternative to a wedding in your home city but it can cost the same in the long run, depending on how creative you get and getting the right people in to help plan it.
Going to the Hawaii and we're ....
...gonna get Maurrrrri-ed.
Sorry, cheap play on words, bad pun and all....couldn't resist.
The date has been set. We set it a while ago but I've had computer-itus and haven't played nice with the net enough in recent months so just haven't blogged any news. We're gettin hitched overlooking the ocean in Oahu (Oh-Are-You) on May 31st 2007. Sounds like a goooood date to us.
We've had the rings made and they're beyootiful! I wanna wear mine now! Josh, as a wedding gift, 'secretly' had a necklace made for me by the same jewellery company who have made our wedding rings. Which he will give to me the night before, or on the day, for me to wear on our wedding day, with the view to passing it down to any daughter/s we might have...or a daughter-in-law. It sounds, from what he has described, beautiful! He felt he had to run it by me in case I went ahead and bought a necklace which matched other jewellery I might wear on the day and he also wanted to make sure I loved it. It involves white gold, a celtic design and a London Blue Topaz (the topaz being one of my favourite jewels).
The wedding photogs have also been booked. I found them on the WPJA site (Wedding Photojournalist Association)and we looked at their gallery and I was really impressed. They are a husband/wife team who reside in Ohau.Which was obviously important to us as it cut out the cost of flying a photog to Hawaii.The reason why I first clicked on their website was their location and the fact that their company name attracted me; Alluring Grace. Josh has spoken to them via email and phone and from the sounds of it, they are a fantastic couple, so I can't wait to meet them!
Here they are, go peek!
The first thing we actually booked was a wedding planner, who has had 20 years of planning weddings, particularly destination weddings. A couple of people have asked us why we booked a wedding planner, out of curiousity, as it seems an unneccessary and possibly extravagant expense.
The reasoning is simple; if we were having the wedding in Melbourne, where we knew the lay of the land, could meet with people face to face etc....well we would do it all ourselves. The wedding is going to be in Hawaii, however, where we don't know who is who and can't do the legwork, meet people, suss out who is legit and who might rip us off, which locations are stunning and which have been glorified in the internet photos etc. Susan, our wedding planner, knows Hawaii and has planned so many weddings there that she steers us straight to the places and people she knows are awesome. She gives us options, we decide, she does the planning,legwork and booking and we show up on the day. It certainly cuts out a lot of potential stress and all at the flat rate of $450. She gets so excited about it all too.Planning wonderful, memorable weddings for the couple is her passion. We were leaning towards Turtle Bay resort but she told us to steer clear because the place has been subject to union strikes and staff walking out on weddings and whatnot, leaving couples in the lurch. If you're interested in a wedding planner down the track, or even right now, I've listed her website a little further down. She is based in Vancouver but deals in quite a few different locations worldwide.
She is simply a wonderful lady! She gives us great options on everything, from table arrangements to music etc. With table decs, she sent us an option that I really liked, a simple orchid sitting in a low, square glass vase in water, with the head of the flower bending over....oh hang on I'll just show you instead, eh....
The flower is cool, we can either have that or a similiar one, I have to look and see what I like best. I'm not the biggest flower-fan although, don't get me wrong, I do love flowers but I'd rather keep costs down and flowers are expensive. When it comes to weddings, the flowers reign in the bouquet stakes. However, as far as decorating is concerned, I'm more of a 'candles everywhere' kinda chicky. That whole 'gothic romantic' kinda feel.
Anyway, c'mon, we're getting married overlooking the ocean, in Hawaii! The surroundings are so beautiful....flowers, greenery, ocean and sand, all in every direction you could look in and a sun preparing to begin setting....you tell me....do we really need to pay for flowers?
The reception willl be held in a ballroom that will open out to our own private garden area that has a waterfall as it's central feature. I don't think we need to worry a whole lot about decorating.
The resort we are having the wedding at also has something that completely sold me as soon as I heard about it; a massive lagoon within it's grounds that is home to six dolphins. And, yes, you can swim with them for a fee. One of my dreams, on my 'must-do-before-I-die' list, is to swim with dolphins! At first I was a bit, I dunno, hesitant about the idea because I don't like when animals, mammals and whathaveyou, are held in captivity. On further investigation though, I found that the resort has a conservation/education program in place, they really take care of the dolphins and are committed to the education of people in regards to conservation.
Here's the wedding planner....
Wedding Lady
Anyway, mum, my sisters and I are planning to go dress hunting on my birthday weekend, three weeks from now. Wow, I just realized as I was typing that last sentence that it will be almost a year to the day that Josh proposed to me, when I dress-hunt. It's been a YEAR already?!?
Sorry, cheap play on words, bad pun and all....couldn't resist.
The date has been set. We set it a while ago but I've had computer-itus and haven't played nice with the net enough in recent months so just haven't blogged any news. We're gettin hitched overlooking the ocean in Oahu (Oh-Are-You) on May 31st 2007. Sounds like a goooood date to us.
We've had the rings made and they're beyootiful! I wanna wear mine now! Josh, as a wedding gift, 'secretly' had a necklace made for me by the same jewellery company who have made our wedding rings. Which he will give to me the night before, or on the day, for me to wear on our wedding day, with the view to passing it down to any daughter/s we might have...or a daughter-in-law. It sounds, from what he has described, beautiful! He felt he had to run it by me in case I went ahead and bought a necklace which matched other jewellery I might wear on the day and he also wanted to make sure I loved it. It involves white gold, a celtic design and a London Blue Topaz (the topaz being one of my favourite jewels).
The wedding photogs have also been booked. I found them on the WPJA site (Wedding Photojournalist Association)and we looked at their gallery and I was really impressed. They are a husband/wife team who reside in Ohau.Which was obviously important to us as it cut out the cost of flying a photog to Hawaii.The reason why I first clicked on their website was their location and the fact that their company name attracted me; Alluring Grace. Josh has spoken to them via email and phone and from the sounds of it, they are a fantastic couple, so I can't wait to meet them!
Here they are, go peek!
The first thing we actually booked was a wedding planner, who has had 20 years of planning weddings, particularly destination weddings. A couple of people have asked us why we booked a wedding planner, out of curiousity, as it seems an unneccessary and possibly extravagant expense.
The reasoning is simple; if we were having the wedding in Melbourne, where we knew the lay of the land, could meet with people face to face etc....well we would do it all ourselves. The wedding is going to be in Hawaii, however, where we don't know who is who and can't do the legwork, meet people, suss out who is legit and who might rip us off, which locations are stunning and which have been glorified in the internet photos etc. Susan, our wedding planner, knows Hawaii and has planned so many weddings there that she steers us straight to the places and people she knows are awesome. She gives us options, we decide, she does the planning,legwork and booking and we show up on the day. It certainly cuts out a lot of potential stress and all at the flat rate of $450. She gets so excited about it all too.Planning wonderful, memorable weddings for the couple is her passion. We were leaning towards Turtle Bay resort but she told us to steer clear because the place has been subject to union strikes and staff walking out on weddings and whatnot, leaving couples in the lurch. If you're interested in a wedding planner down the track, or even right now, I've listed her website a little further down. She is based in Vancouver but deals in quite a few different locations worldwide.
She is simply a wonderful lady! She gives us great options on everything, from table arrangements to music etc. With table decs, she sent us an option that I really liked, a simple orchid sitting in a low, square glass vase in water, with the head of the flower bending over....oh hang on I'll just show you instead, eh....
The flower is cool, we can either have that or a similiar one, I have to look and see what I like best. I'm not the biggest flower-fan although, don't get me wrong, I do love flowers but I'd rather keep costs down and flowers are expensive. When it comes to weddings, the flowers reign in the bouquet stakes. However, as far as decorating is concerned, I'm more of a 'candles everywhere' kinda chicky. That whole 'gothic romantic' kinda feel.
Anyway, c'mon, we're getting married overlooking the ocean, in Hawaii! The surroundings are so beautiful....flowers, greenery, ocean and sand, all in every direction you could look in and a sun preparing to begin setting....you tell me....do we really need to pay for flowers?
The reception willl be held in a ballroom that will open out to our own private garden area that has a waterfall as it's central feature. I don't think we need to worry a whole lot about decorating.
The resort we are having the wedding at also has something that completely sold me as soon as I heard about it; a massive lagoon within it's grounds that is home to six dolphins. And, yes, you can swim with them for a fee. One of my dreams, on my 'must-do-before-I-die' list, is to swim with dolphins! At first I was a bit, I dunno, hesitant about the idea because I don't like when animals, mammals and whathaveyou, are held in captivity. On further investigation though, I found that the resort has a conservation/education program in place, they really take care of the dolphins and are committed to the education of people in regards to conservation.
Here's the wedding planner....
Wedding Lady
Anyway, mum, my sisters and I are planning to go dress hunting on my birthday weekend, three weeks from now. Wow, I just realized as I was typing that last sentence that it will be almost a year to the day that Josh proposed to me, when I dress-hunt. It's been a YEAR already?!?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
This Is Not A Whiny Post
I promise...
I have reflected on the most recent entries I have made on this blog and had a compulsion to delete one or two of them, as no one likes a whiner, not even I.
But no, thats what I felt at that particular moment and this is me, warts, whininess and all. This is probably what a lot of people go through, when trying to re-establish oneself...be it in another country or ones home country. Also, this is what many couples go through to, when they're each from a different country. It's a relationship that definitely has it's mettle put to the test, by fire. Some sadly end up melting, others grow stronger from the experience.
It's becoming more common too, in this internet age that we have truly entered. More and more people are meeting online and spilling out into 'real world'. They face obstacles, distance being the first and big issue. Their relationship translating well in 'real world'....well that's also another issue which hopefully gets sorted out as soon as they both start daydreaming and getting serious about each other. Immigration, working out which one tears themself away from family and friends, finding work in a new country and learning the lay of their new land, all while balancing the heady days of the first stages of love...
The balancing act is fit for the finest circus performer.
I'm applying for jobs. I'm up to five rejections and counting. Two of those rejections happened in the same day and I could only laugh. Josh just went for an interview for a position that doesnt really exist yet but the guy read through his resume and spoke to him for about ten minutes on the phone and was long-sighted enough to know Josh will be a valuable asset to any security firm. They met about an hour or so ago and the guy wants to create a position for Josh, with plans to make headway into a new promising direction within the company. Josh cold-called this company, after being told by other companies "No, we don't have any positions open" or "Get your security licence and then we'll talk". They didnt really listen to Josh telling them that he couldnt get a security licence because of his visa and also, he has done his time on the front-line in the security field and wants to now explore other aspects of the biz.
So I'm proud of his initiative. It's not the end result (which I hope comes to fruition), it's the attitude and perserverence in the journey towards it that matters.
We're hanging in there and staying positive.
I wish 'staying positive' paid the rent, debt and bills though lol....
I have reflected on the most recent entries I have made on this blog and had a compulsion to delete one or two of them, as no one likes a whiner, not even I.
But no, thats what I felt at that particular moment and this is me, warts, whininess and all. This is probably what a lot of people go through, when trying to re-establish oneself...be it in another country or ones home country. Also, this is what many couples go through to, when they're each from a different country. It's a relationship that definitely has it's mettle put to the test, by fire. Some sadly end up melting, others grow stronger from the experience.
It's becoming more common too, in this internet age that we have truly entered. More and more people are meeting online and spilling out into 'real world'. They face obstacles, distance being the first and big issue. Their relationship translating well in 'real world'....well that's also another issue which hopefully gets sorted out as soon as they both start daydreaming and getting serious about each other. Immigration, working out which one tears themself away from family and friends, finding work in a new country and learning the lay of their new land, all while balancing the heady days of the first stages of love...
The balancing act is fit for the finest circus performer.
I'm applying for jobs. I'm up to five rejections and counting. Two of those rejections happened in the same day and I could only laugh. Josh just went for an interview for a position that doesnt really exist yet but the guy read through his resume and spoke to him for about ten minutes on the phone and was long-sighted enough to know Josh will be a valuable asset to any security firm. They met about an hour or so ago and the guy wants to create a position for Josh, with plans to make headway into a new promising direction within the company. Josh cold-called this company, after being told by other companies "No, we don't have any positions open" or "Get your security licence and then we'll talk". They didnt really listen to Josh telling them that he couldnt get a security licence because of his visa and also, he has done his time on the front-line in the security field and wants to now explore other aspects of the biz.
So I'm proud of his initiative. It's not the end result (which I hope comes to fruition), it's the attitude and perserverence in the journey towards it that matters.
We're hanging in there and staying positive.
I wish 'staying positive' paid the rent, debt and bills though lol....
Thursday, July 06, 2006
A New View
Since I've been back in Australia, I've seen a side of it that,frankly, is unfriendly.
I've never been privy to it, being someone born and raised here it was a side that never showed it's upturned nose to me.
Being an immigrant here is bloody tough.
Forget about the blood-letting immigration department, who are responsible for dealing out misinformation time after time. It's a rigorous, bumpy and long road with this government department, my friends, but lets put them aside for the time being.
So far, three months in, walls have been thrown up at my fiance at every turn. He bloody tries his damndest, gets up and showers and dresses every morning and is proactive in his search for a job. I've never met anyone who looks for a job as hard as he does. Unfortunately, he is having a hard time meeting anyone willing to give him a chance.
Well, one tabaret in the city took him on, on a casual, part time basis. But there's a couple of so called 'managers' there that just give him a hard time....because they're just bitches. He was doing his job tonight and a guy walked up to the bar, which Josh was covering for the bar attendant who went off somewhere. The guy ordered some drinks and wanted the seniors discount and when Josh asked politely to see his seniors card (just because you're older does not automatically mean you possess a seniors card) the guy started yelling at him and abusing him, calling Josh names and being a general asshole.
In the end, what did the manager do? Apologized to the guy and really paid Josh out, ending up by telling Josh "I don't want to deal with you right now, I don't wanna look at you, get out of my hair...".
Never even asked Josh for his side of the story. If you're a manager, isnt that one of the things you ask, when you're both in the office?
I came to see him after work, some time after this happened. Josh was telling me quietly what happened, when one of the friends of the abusive guy came up to Josh and apologized for his friends behaviour. Josh said it was fine, and talked to the guy a bit. Then, 5 minutes later, the abusive guy walked past, brushed right beside Josh and gave him and me a look. Walked by a couple of times. Wasnt even man enough to apologize for his own behaviour.
I had to refrain hard from giving the guy a piece of my mind. What an asshole!!!
The message Josh got tonight from both managers; the customer is always right and that their establishment are not interested in making sure the rights of staff are respected at ALL. Customers can speak how they want to staff. Josh learnt that some female staff have been called all sorts of degrading names. Nothing is ever said to the customer. Staff are just supposed to wear it because "thats the way this industry is".
Bullshit.
What kind of establishment lets this happen?! One that isn't run well and does not treat staff well.
We are trying our hardest to make a life here in Australia and I'm seeing for myself how hard it is for a new settler to even cop a break in this country. The one job that Josh has managed to score for himself is this poorly managed 'establishment'. Very frustrating.
I had a much friendlier reception in Canada then Josh is getting here, generally speaking.
I used to think this country was the shiznit. Starting to feel like we'd be better off in Toronto. Actually, wishing we were back there.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
I've never been privy to it, being someone born and raised here it was a side that never showed it's upturned nose to me.
Being an immigrant here is bloody tough.
Forget about the blood-letting immigration department, who are responsible for dealing out misinformation time after time. It's a rigorous, bumpy and long road with this government department, my friends, but lets put them aside for the time being.
So far, three months in, walls have been thrown up at my fiance at every turn. He bloody tries his damndest, gets up and showers and dresses every morning and is proactive in his search for a job. I've never met anyone who looks for a job as hard as he does. Unfortunately, he is having a hard time meeting anyone willing to give him a chance.
Well, one tabaret in the city took him on, on a casual, part time basis. But there's a couple of so called 'managers' there that just give him a hard time....because they're just bitches. He was doing his job tonight and a guy walked up to the bar, which Josh was covering for the bar attendant who went off somewhere. The guy ordered some drinks and wanted the seniors discount and when Josh asked politely to see his seniors card (just because you're older does not automatically mean you possess a seniors card) the guy started yelling at him and abusing him, calling Josh names and being a general asshole.
In the end, what did the manager do? Apologized to the guy and really paid Josh out, ending up by telling Josh "I don't want to deal with you right now, I don't wanna look at you, get out of my hair...".
Never even asked Josh for his side of the story. If you're a manager, isnt that one of the things you ask, when you're both in the office?
I came to see him after work, some time after this happened. Josh was telling me quietly what happened, when one of the friends of the abusive guy came up to Josh and apologized for his friends behaviour. Josh said it was fine, and talked to the guy a bit. Then, 5 minutes later, the abusive guy walked past, brushed right beside Josh and gave him and me a look. Walked by a couple of times. Wasnt even man enough to apologize for his own behaviour.
I had to refrain hard from giving the guy a piece of my mind. What an asshole!!!
The message Josh got tonight from both managers; the customer is always right and that their establishment are not interested in making sure the rights of staff are respected at ALL. Customers can speak how they want to staff. Josh learnt that some female staff have been called all sorts of degrading names. Nothing is ever said to the customer. Staff are just supposed to wear it because "thats the way this industry is".
Bullshit.
What kind of establishment lets this happen?! One that isn't run well and does not treat staff well.
We are trying our hardest to make a life here in Australia and I'm seeing for myself how hard it is for a new settler to even cop a break in this country. The one job that Josh has managed to score for himself is this poorly managed 'establishment'. Very frustrating.
I had a much friendlier reception in Canada then Josh is getting here, generally speaking.
I used to think this country was the shiznit. Starting to feel like we'd be better off in Toronto. Actually, wishing we were back there.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Yesterday vs Today
Yesterday was a great day!
I arranged for the day off work at RMIT so that I could assist a photographer I blogged about on here some time back, before I moved to Toronto
Philip Greenwood
Spent the day helping him out on a shoot he was doing, in a warehouse/studio space his friend owns. What a great space! It also is a 10 minute walk from my apartment.I just felt that this is what I want to do, to be a photographer. I know that being a self-employed photographer can be hard as you don't have the safety net of a boss paying your wage, superannuation et al every week but man, it'd be great to have ones own (thriving) business.
I walked home afterwards feeling inspired, in the beautiful spring-like sunny day.
Today, back at the desk trying to kill minutes and hours and trying not to glance at the clock as it makes these minutes seem like hours.....Feeling under the weather with this wierd dull pain at the back of my throat and neck and a headache that has been present since yesterday afternoon. I don't wanna be here and it's only 2:12 pm.
I have a job interview during my lunchbreak tomorrow. Need to rustle up some clothes from somewhere, by magic, prepare answers to any questions they might throw at me, and read up on their company. I need a full time job. I have no work as of now, from Monday next week on.
Yet, I feel no energy and no passion for it all. I just wanna go home and lie down. I'm fighting to keep my chin up and think and feel positive but I'm not quite getting there today.
I tossed up in my mind that I shouldnt whine on this blog and shouldnt whine in general. Then I thought "to hell with it" and typed this drizzle.
I arranged for the day off work at RMIT so that I could assist a photographer I blogged about on here some time back, before I moved to Toronto
Philip Greenwood
Spent the day helping him out on a shoot he was doing, in a warehouse/studio space his friend owns. What a great space! It also is a 10 minute walk from my apartment.I just felt that this is what I want to do, to be a photographer. I know that being a self-employed photographer can be hard as you don't have the safety net of a boss paying your wage, superannuation et al every week but man, it'd be great to have ones own (thriving) business.
I walked home afterwards feeling inspired, in the beautiful spring-like sunny day.
Today, back at the desk trying to kill minutes and hours and trying not to glance at the clock as it makes these minutes seem like hours.....Feeling under the weather with this wierd dull pain at the back of my throat and neck and a headache that has been present since yesterday afternoon. I don't wanna be here and it's only 2:12 pm.
I have a job interview during my lunchbreak tomorrow. Need to rustle up some clothes from somewhere, by magic, prepare answers to any questions they might throw at me, and read up on their company. I need a full time job. I have no work as of now, from Monday next week on.
Yet, I feel no energy and no passion for it all. I just wanna go home and lie down. I'm fighting to keep my chin up and think and feel positive but I'm not quite getting there today.
I tossed up in my mind that I shouldnt whine on this blog and shouldnt whine in general. Then I thought "to hell with it" and typed this drizzle.
Monday, July 03, 2006
The Fabulous Days Of Uncertainty
Some people yearn for weightlessness, to float and be free. What would uncertainty weigh?
It feels weightless, like an astronaut in space without an anchor. Yet, the feeling that accompanies this weightlessness feels heavy, for uncertainty brings worry.
Since Josh and I left Toronto, we've been floating in space. We arrived in Melbourne with no absolutes. Nothing that was certain. We had no home of our own, staying with my mum and stepdad in Seymour. We had no jobs. We had no idea of how to climb the brick walls that were thrown in front of us because of Josh's working holiday maker visa. He couldnt work in his own profession because of the fact that he isnt an Australian Resident. He couldnt work for any one employer for longer then 3 months. We had no idea of where we were gonna live, where we were gonna work, how we were going to come up with money to live and also pay off our very large debt we have between us. We didnt know how hard or long the road of immigration was in front of us.....
Well, we've been here 3 months now. We found an apartment in Yarraville. We found jobs through a temp agency. My job assignment ends this Friday, Josh has 6 weeks to go with his current, casual job. We hired a wedding planner and booked the venue in Hawaii, booked the photographer, had our wedding rings made.
I applied to The Flight Centre's ad for travel consultants that they have said they are willing to train. They sent me a generic email back thanking me for my application but "unfortunately I wasnt successful". I refused to give up after only one rejection, as I really want to work in the travel industry.
So I applied again.
They emailed me and said they were seriously considering my application and will get back to me. Whoa, I made a baby step!
Then they emailed me and said "thank you for your application but unfortunately you werent successful".
The only thing I can do is call Flight Centre's head office in Brisbane and ask to speak to someone that might know why my application keeps being rejected. Some feedback would be wonderful, instead of a 'you're not good enough for us' sorta email.
We both have NO idea if either one of us is going to get a permanent, full time, decent paying, job soon. I am applying for jobs but no progress has been made so far and I don't know where the next paycheck is coming from, to make rent, bills (for the both of us) and debt repayments. Let alone, how we're going to pay for the wedding, hefty immigration related costs, and other incidentals....
Forgive the whiny-tone of this entry. I'm feeling disheartened and a little nervous/scared right now.
Uncertainty isnt necessarily a bad thing, it can bump one out of their comfort zone and into action, new experiences, growing as a person etc.
When you're free falling and looking at the ground below....all you can think about is hitting it.
It feels weightless, like an astronaut in space without an anchor. Yet, the feeling that accompanies this weightlessness feels heavy, for uncertainty brings worry.
Since Josh and I left Toronto, we've been floating in space. We arrived in Melbourne with no absolutes. Nothing that was certain. We had no home of our own, staying with my mum and stepdad in Seymour. We had no jobs. We had no idea of how to climb the brick walls that were thrown in front of us because of Josh's working holiday maker visa. He couldnt work in his own profession because of the fact that he isnt an Australian Resident. He couldnt work for any one employer for longer then 3 months. We had no idea of where we were gonna live, where we were gonna work, how we were going to come up with money to live and also pay off our very large debt we have between us. We didnt know how hard or long the road of immigration was in front of us.....
Well, we've been here 3 months now. We found an apartment in Yarraville. We found jobs through a temp agency. My job assignment ends this Friday, Josh has 6 weeks to go with his current, casual job. We hired a wedding planner and booked the venue in Hawaii, booked the photographer, had our wedding rings made.
I applied to The Flight Centre's ad for travel consultants that they have said they are willing to train. They sent me a generic email back thanking me for my application but "unfortunately I wasnt successful". I refused to give up after only one rejection, as I really want to work in the travel industry.
So I applied again.
They emailed me and said they were seriously considering my application and will get back to me. Whoa, I made a baby step!
Then they emailed me and said "thank you for your application but unfortunately you werent successful".
The only thing I can do is call Flight Centre's head office in Brisbane and ask to speak to someone that might know why my application keeps being rejected. Some feedback would be wonderful, instead of a 'you're not good enough for us' sorta email.
We both have NO idea if either one of us is going to get a permanent, full time, decent paying, job soon. I am applying for jobs but no progress has been made so far and I don't know where the next paycheck is coming from, to make rent, bills (for the both of us) and debt repayments. Let alone, how we're going to pay for the wedding, hefty immigration related costs, and other incidentals....
Forgive the whiny-tone of this entry. I'm feeling disheartened and a little nervous/scared right now.
Uncertainty isnt necessarily a bad thing, it can bump one out of their comfort zone and into action, new experiences, growing as a person etc.
When you're free falling and looking at the ground below....all you can think about is hitting it.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Whoops, there I is...
Well hello,
I've been gone so long I feel like a stranger to my own blog....
Been back on home soil for 3 months now. Feels like I never left. The streets are the same, people move with the same gait down Swanston Street, Bourke Street et al, Hard Rock Cafe stills stands opposite Metro Nightclub....
Yet I don't quite feel the same...
I could almost say that I fell asleep last night, laid my head down on my Melbourne pillow and dreamt I went to Canada. That, this morning, I got up and watched Canadian-dream cobwebs flutter from my eyes, disintegrating on the morning sunlight speckled floors of my Melbourne bedroom.
I'm unsure as to whether I find my hometown familiarity a welcome. I love my home city, with all it's hidden secret laneways, yet I don't think I was ready to return from the adventure.
I was just starting to like being out of my comfort zone.
I was ready to be with my family again. I missed them. My family are my heart. It's just that my limbs were starting to enjoy the run, starting to warm up with the blood rush, the adrenaline.
My year in Toronto, our trek through streets of Rome, Florence, Madrid, Toledo..... swimming in my head. I need to commit enough to the computer to get all those tales down. 1200 photos to crop, edit and post on my flickr account.....will do that someday soon.
Our first 3 months here have been.....challenging at nearly every turn. Still challenging, we keep trying for a break but brick walls are being put up for our efforts. This year is going to be a doozy; the wedding to plan in Hawaii ( the dates been set by the way, May 31st 2007! ), immigration to plough through, finding work other then temporary jobs, debt to keep paying. We keep our chins up and keep thinking positive and keep persisting after each knockdown, each job rejection, each hurdle.....
I kinda sound mechanical here, I know. I'm laying on the bed, using the laptop and feel kinda uncomfortable doing it so maybe it's reflecting on my entry here lol.
Anyway, I will return with some gossip and tales of our adventures. So much to tell, I really don't know where to begin. So much soul altering stuff, that happened quietly, subtley, but happened all the same. For the first time in my life, I didnt wanna find a keyboard and write about it, I wanted to just live it, let myself absorb it in the quiet parts of my soul.
There are some things that cant be told, only felt.
I've been gone so long I feel like a stranger to my own blog....
Been back on home soil for 3 months now. Feels like I never left. The streets are the same, people move with the same gait down Swanston Street, Bourke Street et al, Hard Rock Cafe stills stands opposite Metro Nightclub....
Yet I don't quite feel the same...
I could almost say that I fell asleep last night, laid my head down on my Melbourne pillow and dreamt I went to Canada. That, this morning, I got up and watched Canadian-dream cobwebs flutter from my eyes, disintegrating on the morning sunlight speckled floors of my Melbourne bedroom.
I'm unsure as to whether I find my hometown familiarity a welcome. I love my home city, with all it's hidden secret laneways, yet I don't think I was ready to return from the adventure.
I was just starting to like being out of my comfort zone.
I was ready to be with my family again. I missed them. My family are my heart. It's just that my limbs were starting to enjoy the run, starting to warm up with the blood rush, the adrenaline.
My year in Toronto, our trek through streets of Rome, Florence, Madrid, Toledo..... swimming in my head. I need to commit enough to the computer to get all those tales down. 1200 photos to crop, edit and post on my flickr account.....will do that someday soon.
Our first 3 months here have been.....challenging at nearly every turn. Still challenging, we keep trying for a break but brick walls are being put up for our efforts. This year is going to be a doozy; the wedding to plan in Hawaii ( the dates been set by the way, May 31st 2007! ), immigration to plough through, finding work other then temporary jobs, debt to keep paying. We keep our chins up and keep thinking positive and keep persisting after each knockdown, each job rejection, each hurdle.....
I kinda sound mechanical here, I know. I'm laying on the bed, using the laptop and feel kinda uncomfortable doing it so maybe it's reflecting on my entry here lol.
Anyway, I will return with some gossip and tales of our adventures. So much to tell, I really don't know where to begin. So much soul altering stuff, that happened quietly, subtley, but happened all the same. For the first time in my life, I didnt wanna find a keyboard and write about it, I wanted to just live it, let myself absorb it in the quiet parts of my soul.
There are some things that cant be told, only felt.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Sayonara Canuckia !
...well for now at least.
I have been so crazy busy over these past 2 months or so that I havent even had time to think about leaving Canada and our trip to London, Italy and Spain....let alone write in my blog.
Even now, there are 3 and a bit hours to go until we have to leave for the airport. Josh is trying to fight off the onset of a cold and I am feeling run down and seedy ( I tried a sleeping pill last night to see if it would give me any side effects and, well, it made me feel seedy today....as if I had one too many drinks the night before...). The sleeping pill is for the plane...in case I cant get to sleep...but I'm thinkin I'll be able to conk out naturally.
So, next up....London. A 24 hour whirlwind of Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and all Londonish touristy spectacles. Meeting up with Josh's best friend, Samantha who will be our 24 hour tourist guide. Also meetin up with Hertz and Rob from The Photo Forum for a few drinks... so lookin forward to it !
Then, Italy. Rome in particular. Hopefully a day trip with some wine and cheese for a picnic in Florence and the Tuscany region, maybe some day trips elsewhere.
Then onto Madrid, Spain !
Back to London, change planes and buckle in for the 21 hour haul to Melbourne. Holy hell, talk about the Ron Jeremy of flights !
I've yet to write my Year In Review of Canuckia. It will eventuate apon my return to the land of Vegemite and sharks, I be thinkin....
I miss Canuckia already. It was just starting to feel like home to me.
I miss Josh's family already. They already feel like family.
See you when I land!
I have been so crazy busy over these past 2 months or so that I havent even had time to think about leaving Canada and our trip to London, Italy and Spain....let alone write in my blog.
Even now, there are 3 and a bit hours to go until we have to leave for the airport. Josh is trying to fight off the onset of a cold and I am feeling run down and seedy ( I tried a sleeping pill last night to see if it would give me any side effects and, well, it made me feel seedy today....as if I had one too many drinks the night before...). The sleeping pill is for the plane...in case I cant get to sleep...but I'm thinkin I'll be able to conk out naturally.
So, next up....London. A 24 hour whirlwind of Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and all Londonish touristy spectacles. Meeting up with Josh's best friend, Samantha who will be our 24 hour tourist guide. Also meetin up with Hertz and Rob from The Photo Forum for a few drinks... so lookin forward to it !
Then, Italy. Rome in particular. Hopefully a day trip with some wine and cheese for a picnic in Florence and the Tuscany region, maybe some day trips elsewhere.
Then onto Madrid, Spain !
Back to London, change planes and buckle in for the 21 hour haul to Melbourne. Holy hell, talk about the Ron Jeremy of flights !
I've yet to write my Year In Review of Canuckia. It will eventuate apon my return to the land of Vegemite and sharks, I be thinkin....
I miss Canuckia already. It was just starting to feel like home to me.
I miss Josh's family already. They already feel like family.
See you when I land!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Josh
Today is our first Valentine's Day that we have spent together in the flesh and I am the most content and happiest I have ever been.
To know, when I go to sleep at night, that I am curled up to, lying next to the man I want to spend the rest of my days with is an amazing feeling that I want to hold on to forever. I look at you and think " this man is the man who my children will call daddy" or I squint my eyes and try to imagine what you will look like when you're 84 and smile to myself when I realize that I will find this out for myself one day.
I say this all the time...you are truly the most wonderful, loving,amazing man I have ever met and sometimes I wonder what I did in my life to deserve such a jewel as you. Buttttt, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth ( or any other part of the horse for that matter) and I chalk it up to being the luckiest girl on the planet.
You're patient when I'm being annoying, you see my flaws and you love me anyway, you hold me when my tears fall and whisper in my ear words of reassurance, you make me laugh when I least feel like laughing and you romance me until I feel as if I'm filled with flowers and my blood has been lined with silver hearts and it's at those times that I know that I have found the man who is always gonna be there for me, in good times and bad.
You make me look bad in the kitchen with your superb chef-like skills ! I don't know whether to lap up all that awesome food or take up cooking classes to catch up !
They don't make men like you anymore. They just don't.
I love you so much babe and I cannot, cannot wait for the day when we are standing face to face at the altar, where I become your wife and you become my husband...
I'm marrying my best friend and wish that day would hurry the hell up !!!
I love you honey ! I'm going to go downstairs now and cuddle you while we watch SAW 2 ( what, it has a red theme in it, it fits V-Day ...)
Eternally Yours- Tina xxxooo
To know, when I go to sleep at night, that I am curled up to, lying next to the man I want to spend the rest of my days with is an amazing feeling that I want to hold on to forever. I look at you and think " this man is the man who my children will call daddy" or I squint my eyes and try to imagine what you will look like when you're 84 and smile to myself when I realize that I will find this out for myself one day.
I say this all the time...you are truly the most wonderful, loving,amazing man I have ever met and sometimes I wonder what I did in my life to deserve such a jewel as you. Buttttt, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth ( or any other part of the horse for that matter) and I chalk it up to being the luckiest girl on the planet.
You're patient when I'm being annoying, you see my flaws and you love me anyway, you hold me when my tears fall and whisper in my ear words of reassurance, you make me laugh when I least feel like laughing and you romance me until I feel as if I'm filled with flowers and my blood has been lined with silver hearts and it's at those times that I know that I have found the man who is always gonna be there for me, in good times and bad.
You make me look bad in the kitchen with your superb chef-like skills ! I don't know whether to lap up all that awesome food or take up cooking classes to catch up !
They don't make men like you anymore. They just don't.
I love you so much babe and I cannot, cannot wait for the day when we are standing face to face at the altar, where I become your wife and you become my husband...
I'm marrying my best friend and wish that day would hurry the hell up !!!
I love you honey ! I'm going to go downstairs now and cuddle you while we watch SAW 2 ( what, it has a red theme in it, it fits V-Day ...)
Eternally Yours- Tina xxxooo
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The Stork Has Landed
Once again :D
I posted this on TPF on January 8th...
Seems like the stork is mighty busy this month !
My fiance flew to Boston this weekend to help his brother and sister-in-law put together the baby nursery, as their bubby was due in 2 weeks time. Josh finished up the nursery last night and was due to fly back home this afternoon ( Sunday ).
Then at 5 am this morning, his sister-in-law's water broke and their daughter was born by C-Section not long after ( they had to perform it as the baby wasnt turned ).
Her name is Josephine Viognier (pronounced 'Vee-on-yay').
Viognier is a type of grape,grown in France, which is used to make wine. Her papa is a sommilier after all....surprisingly it wasnt he that picked the name...his wife chose it.
She weighed 5 pounds 4 ounces, so she's a tiny angel.
Josh is an uncle for the first time ! I'm an aunt again !
I feel really happy for the excellent timing on Josephines part because Josh and I, as some of you know, are flying to Australia in March, for at least a year and I was worried that Josh wouldnt get a chance to meet his first niece before then.
She must've decided " Hey, my uncle is flying to the other side of the world and here's my chance to meet him before he leaves".
She also chose to be born on my sister's ( Kristy's ) birthday ! And, as Kristy also pointed out to me, January 8th is also Elvis's birthday ! Josephine chose to be born in good company *wink*.
Josh's brother and sister-in-law are gonna have a problem with Josh nicknaming her Joey-da-Grape now though lol...
I posted this on TPF on January 8th...
Seems like the stork is mighty busy this month !
My fiance flew to Boston this weekend to help his brother and sister-in-law put together the baby nursery, as their bubby was due in 2 weeks time. Josh finished up the nursery last night and was due to fly back home this afternoon ( Sunday ).
Then at 5 am this morning, his sister-in-law's water broke and their daughter was born by C-Section not long after ( they had to perform it as the baby wasnt turned ).
Her name is Josephine Viognier (pronounced 'Vee-on-yay').
Viognier is a type of grape,grown in France, which is used to make wine. Her papa is a sommilier after all....surprisingly it wasnt he that picked the name...his wife chose it.
She weighed 5 pounds 4 ounces, so she's a tiny angel.
Josh is an uncle for the first time ! I'm an aunt again !
I feel really happy for the excellent timing on Josephines part because Josh and I, as some of you know, are flying to Australia in March, for at least a year and I was worried that Josh wouldnt get a chance to meet his first niece before then.
She must've decided " Hey, my uncle is flying to the other side of the world and here's my chance to meet him before he leaves".
She also chose to be born on my sister's ( Kristy's ) birthday ! And, as Kristy also pointed out to me, January 8th is also Elvis's birthday ! Josephine chose to be born in good company *wink*.
Josh's brother and sister-in-law are gonna have a problem with Josh nicknaming her Joey-da-Grape now though lol...
Oh ....
...THANK YOU, mighty God's-Of-All-Things-Camera !!!
Change that, thank you Josh !
A Nikon D50 found it's way onto our doorstep last Monday !!!
!!!!!
!!!!!
I've picked it up and looked at it and poked it like it was an alien over the past week ! I almost feel scared to hold it because I've longed for this kind of camera for so long and I'm afraid to even scratch it lol.
Now, to learn how to use it and get the best out of it.
I'm also a little paranoid of it being stolen whilst we're in Europe so it's definately going to be insured and pics are going to be downloaded every night we're there.
Josh stretched his stretched-out budget to get this camera and we shall endeavour to capture good pics of our trip.
Honey, I cant thank you enough !
Pics coming soon !
Change that, thank you Josh !
A Nikon D50 found it's way onto our doorstep last Monday !!!
!!!!!
!!!!!
I've picked it up and looked at it and poked it like it was an alien over the past week ! I almost feel scared to hold it because I've longed for this kind of camera for so long and I'm afraid to even scratch it lol.
Now, to learn how to use it and get the best out of it.
I'm also a little paranoid of it being stolen whilst we're in Europe so it's definately going to be insured and pics are going to be downloaded every night we're there.
Josh stretched his stretched-out budget to get this camera and we shall endeavour to capture good pics of our trip.
Honey, I cant thank you enough !
Pics coming soon !
Stress Reliever
Here's a very effective technique that dear Corry, from The Photo Forum taught me...
Stress Management Technique
In the event you have had a rough week, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.
1) Picture yourself near a stream.
2) Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3) No one but you knows your secret place.
4) You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."
5) The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6) The water is crystal clear.
7) You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
Ahhhh I feel all zen now...
Zenfully Yours
- Tina
Stress Management Technique
In the event you have had a rough week, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.
1) Picture yourself near a stream.
2) Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3) No one but you knows your secret place.
4) You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."
5) The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6) The water is crystal clear.
7) You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
Ahhhh I feel all zen now...
Zenfully Yours
- Tina
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