Baby Daze

Ok...finally had a chance to post...

So much to write about over the past 7 weeks (has it really only been 7 weeks?!)I don't know where to start.

Now I understand all those parents that say that parenthood is the most challenging but rewarding job you could do in your life. You're running on the whiff of sleep, utterly, utterly bone-crushingly-tired to the point your entire body is screaming for rest let alone sleep. You have your child howling in the night as you stagger around with him/her trying the 105th thing to soothe them, your chest heavy with exhaustion and the howls cutting through your soul. You're sobbing along with your baby because your body and emotions have been through the humdinger that is called birth and then you've been thrown into a freefall of hormones and trying to learn how to look after a demanding little human being ever since.

And you are non-stop 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I've been told (good advice yes) to sleep when Maya is sleeping. However, I have two very small windows of opportunity during the day and the first window allows me to scramble for a very quick shower. Usually she wakes up just as I step out and I either let her cry as I quickly dress or I resort to trying to soothe her whilst naked and dripping water all over the place.

Meals? I haven't had many meals undisturbed. Today was the first time in 7 weeks that she slept through my shower AND my breakfast. I usually don't get to eat lunch and dinner....I usually eat to the tune of Maya crying while Josh tries to soothe her. Maybe she recognizes that mummy needs to lose baby weight and is trying to put me on the 'Baby Diet'.

Don't get me wrong...she isn't a 'cryer' in the sense that she cries all the time....the timing that she DOES cry however sucks. She's actually an excellent baby and spends a lot of time in quiet contemplation and cooing.

I've had a couple of moments where I've wanted to throw my head back and scream and throw the towel in on this motherhood-business. But then 20 minutes later, I look at Maya and feel so awful for even thinking that way because I'm so infatuated with this little girl. She came from my body and, cliched as it sounds, she's as much a part of me as my heart is, even more so. Josh and I went for dinner and had my mum babysit her at the end of September and even though I was only away from her for a few hours...my entire body and soul craved to hold her again, I missed her so much it physically and emotionally gnawed at me until I got in the door and went to her.

It's being utterly and totally in love like I've never loved before and being totally and utterly exhausted like I've never been exhausted before.

Will try to update a little more regularly, even if it's only short posts.

Maya Photos